Pariah King
by gin893
Summary: Sigi (Sigyn) Maddox's entire world has just turned upside down and, on behalf of S.H.I.E.L.D. must travel to Asgard to learn more about her past. However, she never anticipated a trickster would-be king to get in her way. Note: Though I reference characters/events from the Marvel comic books, I divert substantially from the canon. Just a FYI.
1. Chapter 1

What are you really getting at when you sing?  
There's something wrong and beautiful  
Kill a snake and make yourself pariah king

"Pariah King" The Shins

"We need you to come in and get tested," Nick Fury said as soon as Sigi Maddox answered her phone.

Sigi sighed. She had just been in to S.H.I.E.L.D.'s new headquarters a few days ago to meet with Fury and answer a series of questions he'd had. Ever since the Avenger's Initiative had gone through and New York had half ripped apart by giant metal centipedes or something, Fury had become much more interested in her "abilities," as he'd dubbed them. He didn't call them her powers; at least he wasn't trying to make her into some superhero. Though she had managed to save the life of a man Fury trusted more than any other and indebted herself to Fury in a way he could never repay, there was no getting out of any of this; Fury and his organization knew what she was capable of. And he wanted her on hand.

"It's a waste of time," she smirked. "You know I can't get sick."

"That's of course not what I mean, Maddox. We need to sample your blood and test it for alien DNA."

"What? Why?"

"Well, as we know, your abilities are not connected to a human mutation. And ever since we've had these interactions with Asgardians, I'm wondering if it isn't something more… alien. The only others who have similarities to what you can do come from outer space."

"True, how many people do you know who make the song 'I Get Knocked Down' a reality and have some sort of bizarre mind power?"

Fury sighed. "Maddox, if you have more in common with that crazy minded brother of Thor's, I'm going to be really concerned."

"And you're not already?" She'd only briefed him a few days ago on the full array of what she was dealing with after she'd gone into PTSD after healing his agents in the aftermath of the New York incident. Neither one of them knew what in the hell they were dealing with.

"Just get in here, Maddox."

Fury hung up and Sigi wrinkled her nose. She'd been hoping for a day of R and R, but clearly that wasn't going to happen. She'd gotten too used to the long stretch of doing not much of anything that had been her everyday life the past few years and all this activity from Fury was going to take its toll. But this is what she'd wanted. She'd nearly begged him to allow her to come work for S.H.I.E.L.D.

When she'd turned eleven years old, Sigi Maddox had come to realize that something was not quite normal with her. In her youth, she'd always healed quickly and had a knack for making people feel better. But spontaneously, hours before her birthday party, she'd fallen down the stairs and broken her arm. At least, she thought she'd broken her arm. Instead, before her mother and stepfather could even drive her to the hospital, it'd knitted itself back together and she was as right as rain. Sigi's mother had always told her that perhaps she'd imagined the severity of the injury but Sigi would never forget what her arm looked like, hanging from its impossible angle. Years later, after she'd graduated from high school, she wound up in a terrible traffic accident that should have killed her and her passenger. Yet it hadn't. Somehow, Sigi had healed herself and, upon seeing her friend who'd been shotgun besides her bleeding and terribly injured, Sigi had reached out towards her and had done… well, done something. What, she couldn't recall. All she knew was that when the EMTs arrived, they'd found two passengers without a scratch on them in a tin can of a car with Sigi screaming hysterically. She'd been in and out of psychiatric hospitals and therapy centers for years after that but she couldn't explain what had happened. She couldn't make them understand that her hysteria had not come from the accident but what she had seen when she'd touched her friend. In that moment, when Sigi had apparently healed her, she had seen exactly how her friend would die. And Sigi knew that she would be completely powerless to stop it.

When her friend did die, exactly in the way Sigi had seen, several years after the accident, and many healings – and predicted deaths – later, Sigi had sent herself to a psychiatric hospital indefinitely, unable to cope with what had occurred. However, when a nurse had given himself a simple paper cut and Sigi instinctively had reached out to grab his hand, the very same thing happened. The cut healed almost immediately and Sigi saw that the nurse would die in his sleep, from old age. Sigi had been relieved at this revelation. Not every death she saw would be dramatic. Perhaps she could learn to deal with this ability after all.

But it was still seeing a death, having access to a knowledge that should remain unknown. She couldn't turn it off, try as she might. So though she had finally begun to deal with the repercussions of that what she could do, it was a long way to feeling any way comfortable with it. Perhaps she never would. After dealing with those injured in the New York battle, she was afraid any sort of control was out of her hands.

"Morning, Phil," Sigi said as she walked into Fury's office.

Phil Coulson had been mostly dead when Sigi was brought to him on the aircraft where havoc had most certainly been wreaked. Whatever sort of spear that had been used on him had nearly done its job. Except that Coulson had a trump card that only he and Fury were aware he possessed.

Nick Fury and his fucking Infinity Formula. Though Fury was no Captain America, the serum he took annually allowed him to sustain more injury than the typical human and heal quickly. Coulson had just agreed to begin the annual regimen himself (which honestly didn't take much persuading on Fury's part; all he had to do was namedrop the Cap and Coulson was in) as Fury knew he'd need his right hand man no matter what and felt Coulson deserved a promotion.

"So promotions come with a side of immortality in S.H.I.E.L.D.?" Sigi had said when this was explained to her. "Nifty."

But no matter how much Infinity Formula Coulson had in his system, an alien spear through the heart would still have been deadly. And thus, while Fury lied to the Avengers and convinced them Coulson had died in order to "give them a push," as Fury had said, Sigi made damn certain that Coulson did not die.

"Good morning, Ms. Maddox," Coulson smiled. "Fury's waiting for you in the first lab on the right."

"Thanks." Coulson had never asked her about what she'd seen when she'd envisioned him dying (again) and she was grateful. Mostly because she was none to certain of what she _had_ seen for him.

Fury was pacing about the lab as Sigi arrived, flipping through a file of notes. Her notes, recently complied, she presumed.

"Let me cover what we've got so far, Maddox," Fury said, scanning the papers with his one eye. "Healing abilities, macabre divination while healing, inability to get ill, spontaneous self-treatment… mother is half-Welsh, half-German; biological father is unknown. You have never had the flu, chicken pox, any human illness, not even the common cold. Sound about right?"

"Yep." Suddenly a tech appeared beside her, and stabbed a needle into her arm, collecting. "Ow! Shit!" she cried. The tech removed the needle and Sigi looked down. A drop of blood rolled out and, a moment later, a tiny scab appeared.

"Sorry about that, Maddox," Fury sounded like he was trying not to smile. "We weren't sure what affect drawing blood would have on your healing so we thought it best to do it while you were off-guard."

"Well congratulations on that one," Sigi grimaced. "Still hurts. I don't have invulnerability to pain."

"Scan that and get me the results ASAP," Fury said. The tech nodded and left the room. "What you did on the boat, in New York, for Coulson… Sigi, don't take for granted that what I think you can do is amazing. But it worries me that we don't know where it came from. Even you can't remember."

Sigi shrugged. "It was just there. I think it was always there. I never really got injured as a child; I can't remember if I was just overly careful or if I was healing myself. Until I broke my arm, I had no idea what I could do."

"I do have to pry at something. Your father…."

"Never knew him." They'd been over this, repeatedly.

"Sorry, I meant your stepfather. He told me that your mother had an interest in Norse mythology. That didn't happen to affect your namesake, did it?"

Sigi sighed. "It did. My full name is Sigyn."

"I was afraid you were going to say that."

Fury left the room and Sigi stared after him in confusion. Nick Fury: international man of mystery and royal pain in the ass. Coulson came back in to chat with her though, so at least she didn't have to sit in the lab alone. It seemed he'd been going to Portland a lot to meet up with that cellist of his and Sigi couldn't help but gush with glee at this information.

Fury burst back in half an hour later, waving a sheet of paper on her nose.

"Asgardian. You're part Asgardian."

"What?"

"The planet Thor is from. Your father was an Asgardian. Has to be."

"Whaaaaa…." Sigi drawled, unable to formulate actual syllabic pronunciation at the moment. When she'd regained the ability to speak, she cried, "How is that even possible? My mother did not sleep with a space alien."

"The evidence begs to differ," Fury shrugged.

"But have you seen Thor? He was probably a good-looking space alien," Coulson assured her.

"Do I look like I could be related to a good-looking space alien?" Sigi cried.

Coulson opened his mouth a few times, making no sound. "I'm not going to answer that question.

Sigi rolled her eyes. Her appearance didn't much matter to her, but she was certainly no Thor. Strawberry-blonde hair, freckles, green eyes. There was nothing powerful or enigmatic about her appearance. But perhaps that didn't matter. Perhaps there was something more than attractiveness that marked her a something other than human.

There was something other-worldy about her eyes and her mother had always said her ears and cheekbones made her look elfish. But she thought that had just been her mother's way of making her sound unique and pretty in her awkward teen years. But now…

"I'm part alien," Sigi said slowly, saying it more for the benefit of her mind to register and accept it.

"Asgardian," Fury clarified.

"So what does that mean?"

Fury raised his eyebrows. "Want to meet your kin?"


	2. Chapter 2

Dr. Selvig, whom Sigi had met on several occasions while avoiding prying questions from Fury, has spent the last few months adding the final tweaks and adjustments to a device Fury had been concerned could never exist. He hadn't exactly done it alone though – working with him had been Bruce Banner and Tony Stark. Though having Stark on the project was… well, it was an experience, Selvig has said. Genius billionaire playboy philanthropists were not always the easiest to work with.

Despite her involvement in the massive "Loki Strikes Back" fiasco, Sigi had yet to meet any of the Avengers. They did not know of her existence and, until recently, Fury wanted to keep it that way. But now that more information had been gained about her, Fury thought it ideal to at least introduce Sigi to two of them.

"Do they know about Coulson…" she had begun to ask as they walked down to Selvig's lab.

"No," Fury said firmly. "And for the time being, I want them to continue believing that he's dead. Trust me on this."

Trusting Nick Fury was always a bit of a gamble; it generally turned out right in the end, but there was a great series of doubt one had to experience first.

"Dr. Selvig," Fury said, entering his lab, "how is it?"

"Completed," Selvig replied, smiling. "It hasn't been tested yet, of course, but…"

"But it's a fully functional portal, ready to carry any individual to the other side of space and time to visit our dear friend the Thunder God," Tony Stark interrupted, smiling broadly.

At the other end of the room, Sigi could see a large, circular arch made of titanium and steel and other metals she couldn't even begin to name. Bruce Banner was kneeling down at its base, tinkering with something. He stood up, noticing Fury's presence in the room, and walked towards the group assembled around him.

"So your statement about Thor coming back when we need him was just to assure the public?" Sigi smirked.

"Oh, he'll come back. But this is in case we need him for non-emergency reasons. Such as now," Fury explained.

"It is a one-way portal, currently," Banner said, wiping his hands with a small towel. "Once we get a guinea pig out there to see how it works, we can install the transmitter in Asgard and it will be a two-way system."

"And then mommy and daddy will be so proud that our little stargate works," Stark simpered. He smiled at Sigi. "Tony Stark, I don't think we've met."

"We haven't. I'm Sigi Maddox."

"She's our guinea pig," Fury added.

"I am? I mean… ahem, yes, I am."

"Nice job of notifying her, Fury," Banner smiled. He stuck out his hand towards Sigi. "Bruce Banner."

"A pleasure," Sigi said, shaking his hand. "I'm sort of a big fan of how you guys save the world."

"Gee, you know…" Banner shrugged.

"And right well you should be. It's 'cause we're awesome," Stark winked.

"He's far more humble than I thought he'd be, Fury," Sigi smiled. Fury simply rolled his eyes.

Selvig introduced himself to Sigi and he studied her carefully, looking concerned. "Any particular reason you're our test, Ms. Maddox?"

"I…well…" She looked to Fury questioningly.

"She's part Asgardian," Fury finished for her.

"Uh… what?" Stark asked. "Aren't they supposed to be big and tall and… Thor?"

"The attributes are less in the physique and more in their abilities," Selvig said.

"Yeah, and I'm not short," Sigi said, pulling a face at Stark.

"So what's your party trick?" Banner asked hesitantly. "You got a fancy hammer or spear or something?"

"Nope. I don't have a weapon." Sigi looked towards Fury and he nodded. She grabbed a tool from the table behind her and, taking a deep breath in preparation, struck herself on the arm with it. As those watching gasped, a large welt appeared and blood seeped out from a gash. Sigi focused on it and, as quickly as she'd wounded herself, it healed over, leaving only a small cut and red mark.

"Holy shit," Banner said.

"Nope, can't think of any way that would be important," Stark said sarcastically. "When were you going to tell us about this, Fury?"

"Soon. We only just discovered her ourselves."

"Well, where's she been? Regenerating or something?" Stark cried.

"I was working as an eighth grade health science teacher in Cleveland. Sorry, no Time Lord antics for me."

"The reason I didn't tell you sooner is that we didn't know what we were dealing with," Fury explained. "There was no sense in trying to explain something that was completely unexplainable. But at least now we know she's part Asgardian. And I'm sending her there to test this device for us and to learn more about – what she can do, so she doesn't spend the rest of her life confused as hell and we can aptly use her help, if need be."

"Really it's a simple way to get me out of his hair for a while," Sigi smiled.

"I could think of easier ways if that was really my intent," Fury replied. "Besides, we've no way of notifying the Asgardians about your arrival, so who knows how they'll react with your appearance. The best advice I can give you is to be polite and explain how and why you've come. Oh, and one more thing – under no circumstances should you interact with Loki. I imagine they've got him locked up somewhere but, regardless, stay away from him. His persuasiveness is easily seen as nothing more than honeyed words and its true power is too easily ignored. But his power of suggestion is not to be trifled with. Whatever you do, do not talk to him. Understand?"

"Yeah, definitely," Sigi said, confused. "I mean, I know what he's capable. Why the strong warning?"

"It's your name," Dr. Selvig said. Sigi gave him a confused look but he didn't explain further. Instead, he pulled out an envelop from his jacket pocket and gave it to her. "This is for Thor, from Jane Foster. Give it to him when you get the chance."

Sigi nodded. "Absolutely." She tucked it into her jacket pocket. "Any last words of advice?"

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Stark said.

"Terrible advice," Banner whispered.

"Don't let the Asgardians get you down," Stark continued. "And good adventuring, Ziggy Stardust."

Sigi laughed. "I see what you did there. Clever."

Selvig led Sigi to a spot underneath the metallic arch, handing her a small device. "Good luck, Ms. Maddox. When you reach Asgard, you should give this to Heimdall, the gatekeeper. It works simply by turning it on and entering the commands to connect with our portal here."

"We expect to hear from you rather shortly," Fury added. "This is a day trip, not a lengthy vacation. If you don't return in the next three hours, we'll be forced to come after you in the assumption that something has happened to you. Understand?"

Sigi nodded, tucking the device into her coat, and Selvig and Banner stood at an array of control panels, entering a series of commands. A few moments later a gentle light began to radiate around Sigi. Everything became blurred before her and she felt as if she were being pulled through a swirling vortex. She felt herself fall and impact against something. It was solid, glistening and rainbow-eque. A bridge of some kind. She pushed herself up slightly and found herself staring at an enormous pair of leather boots. Looking up, she stared at the tallest man she'd ever seen, clad in battle gear and holding an enormous sword.

"And what, pray, are you?" he said in a deep rumble. Before she could respond, the man, whom she could only presume was Heimdall the gatekeeper had swept her up and was carrying her down the bridge towards an enormous castle-like structure.

_Well, then_, Sigi thought. _Welcome to Asgard_.


	3. Chapter 3

Heimdall brought her into the enclosure and down to a grand courtroom where two thrones sat on a dais. In them sat, respectively, Frigga and Odin. Fury had spoken to her briefly about Asgard once but there was a great deal unknown. Suddenly, it occurred to Sigi that she was the first human – well, part-human – being to ever see Asgard. The awe of it made her throat swell. At least until she realized that she was in serious trouble.

"Allfather," Heimdall said, bowing before Odin, "I found this intruder on the Bifröst. She appeared as if out of nowhere and failed to explain where she came from."

"I didn't exactly get the chance, terribly sorry," Sigi gasped. "I'm from Earth. I was sent her by Nick Fury – Thor knows him. I've come to establish a means of communication, my lord, between Earth and Asgard and…"

"Have you any proof of this, young woman?" Odin asked her. His very voice demanded respect and oozed power and in that moment, Sigi froze. She forgot about the device or the letter in her pocket. All she could do was gape at Odin and attempt to explain.

"I'm afraid my son Thor is not here at the moment and naming him will do no good." Apparently she'd merely been mumbling about him in order to build a defense; great, that would do her a lot of good. "Put her in a holding cell, Heimdall, until Thor returns. We can be none too careful these days."

Sigi found herself brought to a cell down in the depths of the citadel, a stone room with a clear, glass-like door but stronger than any glass she had seen. She sunk to the floor, sitting back and forcing herself to breath evenly. It'd be all right. Thor would come back and she could explain herself and she would give him his letter and… Dammit why hadn't she thought of the device and the letter before now?! She had the strong desire to punch herself in the face but resisted.

It was then she felt a pair of eyes studying her. Farther down the hall was a large cell, big enough to be its own room. There, standing near the glass was a dark-haired man studying her. She stared back, her green eyes steady and unwavering. The staring contest of sorts continued until the man chuckled and stepped away from the door of his cell, walking out of view.

Recognizing him from the S.H.I.E.L.D. reports and reasoning he'd be the most likely candidate to be locked up by the Asgardians, Sigi pegged him as Loki, brother of Thor. The very person Fury had demanded she avoid. And here he was, locked up, yes, but mere feet away. It was almost comical.

He was not as intimidating as she had expected. Perhaps because he was not wearing his full battle armor as she had seen before. Instead, he was clothed in a simple green and black tunic, looking smaller and more demure than in the images she had seen from the battle in New York.

She knew she should have been more concerned. But she found it hard to believe that this man, this man with his ponderous grey-blue eyes, was the one responsible for all the death and destruction that had occurred. He was the one who had nearly killed Coulson. And he had very nearly destroyed Sigi's new-found home. She should have been feeling nothing but hate and revulsion towards him. And while she did feel these things, something also made here feel rather sad for him. He was only human –er, Asgardian – and seeing him here made him look like a rather misled adopted boy who…

Sigi suddenly felt a sense of nagging in the back of her mind, the recognition that these were ideas that had appeared of someone else's making, not her own revelation. Another appeared, like a poke or prod to her brain: _He's misunderstood. Talk to him._

Right. Fury had said Loki had great powers of suggestion. This must have been it.

Sigi turned around, looking across at Loki's cell. He was standing there, watching her. She stared him down, arching her eyebrows as if to say, "Is that the best you've got?" He frowned. Apparently she was not supposed to be aware of such mental intrusion.

He kept trying, perhaps out of boredom or desperation. It went on for a great while, trying to elicit speech from her, which she ignored, simply mining confusion. "I can't hear you," she mouthed to him and he glared furiously back. Later, Loki tried simpler suggestions. There would be a sense that Sigi should sit down and she would immediately begin to pace about. She would feel tempted to walk around and instead forced herself to stop moving. He demanded she face him. She turned away and threw him a rude gesture.

"Are you teasing my brother?" a deep voice asked. Sigi turned around to see he who could only be Thor facing her.

"Afraid so. He's irritating my brain."

"Most don't react that way to his influencing. But then I have been assured you are not most, Ms. Maddox."

"How did you know who I…" The words died on her lips as Nick Fury appeared from behind Thor.

"Day trip, Ms. Maddox. Day trip. What part of that did you not understand?"

"What, and throw away the opportunity for true Asgardian prison hospitality?" Fury frowned at her. "Look, there was an incident. I can explain…"

"Can you explain how they managed to put you in a cell right next to his?" Fury glared at Loki.

"Nope. That I cannot explain. Just general misfortune?"

"Did you talk to him?"

"No."

"Did he talk to you?"

"Not out loud. What is this, _Silence of the Lambs_? He's not wearing the muzzle thing now, so that at least cuts down on those references a bit."

Fury turned his glare on her now. "You don't seem to be taking this too seriously, Ms. Maddox."

"And you don't seem to be to keen on giving anyone the 411 until it's a bit too late. Notifying me that Asgard has a BAMF who guards the Bifröst, you know, would have been great info to have. I can understand not knowing certain things, but it borders on embarrassing when I get imprisoned because I can't think of how to explain to Odin that I just crossed _a portal through space and time and fell face first into a rainbow bridge _when only a year ago I was teaching middle school students in Cleveland proper hand-washing techniques. Have a bit of patience with me."

"What's Cleveland?" Thor asked.

Sigi sighed in relief. "See? Not the only one who is confused."

Fury rubbed the bridge of his nose. "Oh my God, I should have sent Stark," he muttered as he walked away.

"Wait, you can't leave me here!" Sigi cried.

"I sure can. I don't have the key."

"But I have," Thor said. "Heimdall has entrusted it with me to release you so that I may discuss with you this being of your bloodline that stems from my people."

Sigi caught a flutter of movement from the corner of her eye and saw Loki standing at the door of his cage, watching curiously. She felt a sudden rush of concern, concern that was entirely her reaction, and wished Thor had not said it with Loki present.

"Of… of course," she stammered nervously. Loki's eyes were locked on her as Thor unlocked the cell and she stepped out into the corridor. She had the desperate desire to run out of there as quickly as possible but she simply had no recollection as to how she had gotten down there.

"My people will be most grateful," Thor said. "It is a most curious incident that an Asgardian had come to Midgard before me and I am hoping you can enlighten us."

"I'm afraid that I won't be much help there. I never knew my father."

Sigi followed Thor up the stairs out of the prison where Fury had apparently decided to hang back and wait for them.

"Do you still have the device?" he asked Sigi.

"Of course." She removed it from her jacket pocket and handed it to him.

"I'll make sure this is installed and working properly and head out on my merry way," Fury said. "Since you're here and peaked their interest, stay with the Asgardians and find out what you can. It'll be more beneficial than anything we could do for you in the labs back in New York. Just don't get yourself into trouble. Anything happens, come right back through the portal and alert us immediately."

"What could happen?"

"You're in the same universe as Loki. You don't want to know."


	4. Chapter 4

Thor was disappointed to hear that Sigi knew nothing about her lineage and that even her mother had little idea of who her father was.

"It was a one-night stand," Sigi explained. "And that's when I was conceived."

"I do not understand. How does standing one night create children?"

Sigi sighed. Oh, the joy of explaining human colloquialisms. Once that uncomfortable business was done, Thor sat in thought for some time, trying to theorize how what seemed impossible had happened.

"I can think of no time in our past where someone would have gone to your planet, only to bear a child and leave. It does not make any sense."

"Welcome to the club. I'll make t-shirts."

"You are certain your mother told you nothing about him?"

She shook her head. "Wait…no, I did see a photo once, in a box of hers when I was little. I was bored one rainy day and snooping and found a picture of her with a man who was very tall, brown haired, muscular, looked like an athlete of some kind. When I asked her about it, she refused to tell me. I used to think that he could have been my father, but when I did find out it was a one-night stand, I thought it unlikely. Perhaps she did have a photo of a man she only slept with once. More likely not. I assumed it was just my hopes of putting a face to an unknown person. But then I got older and told myself to stop worrying about such things. I had a father, my stepfather, and that's what mattered, not this man who left my mother's life as quickly as he'd appeared in it. I never thought it would really become important."

"And now it has," Thor said.

"And now it has," she echoed. "I'm sorry I can't help you more. I simply don't know anything else."

"I understand," Thor replied. "I will tell Odin Allfather what you have told me and see if he cannot recall an instance in which something of this nature could have occurred. Until then, you are free to roam as you please. We will prepare a room for you and you may stay as long as you like. Until we have what we need."

Sigi nodded in agreement. "That sounds wonderful. Thank you for your help. I'm not certain I deserve it, but I appreciate it."

"You are the only one of your kind; it is the least we could do," Thor assured her and began to walk off.

"Wait!" Sigi cried, remembering the letter she had in her pocket. She pulled it out and ran towards Thor, handing it to him. "Dr. Selvig gave this to me. It's from Jane Foster."

A look somewhere between extreme joy and extreme anguish appeared in Thor's eyes. He lowered his head gratefully. "Thank you, Sigyn. I'll make sure a room is prepared for your stay. Please make yourself comfortable and I will make sure someone comes to escort you to your quarters."

He left and Sigi began mulling over what he had said. _The only of your kind_. This concept sent a frission of surprise through Sigi. She had not thought of it that way yet, but it was true. There were no others like her. Half human, half Asgardian; she was neither one nor the other. It was a jarring recognition and she could do nothing but sit there for a few minutes, mulling over it. All these years she had considered herself part of the human race and while that was true it wasn't entirely accurate.

She decided she'd rather spend her time having an identity crisis exploring her space rather than sitting in a strange open area that looked like a Viking common room if Donald Trump had commissioned it built, a simultaneously metallic and cold space while also being wooden and earthy. It made Sigi's head hurt and her head was already aching enough with its attempts at reconfiguring her entire identity. She slipped out of the large room and began exploring the cold, stone halls, wondering where exactly she was. She had remembered little about the trek form the Bifröst to the citadel where she was now. There had been some lake or river outside the castle that had reflected the light of a sky that was unlike any she had seen before. She remembered vaguely the throne room where she had seen Odin and of course her prison cell she had memorized down to the cracks in the floor. But she had no mental notion as to how everything was laid out and where one place she had been was related to another.

Though she longed to find out, the last thing she wanted to do was get lost in this massive fortress or wandering into some private area and wind up in a cell again. Instead, she made due with wandering through the halls and stumbled across an outdoor area not far from the room Thor had left her in. She would have described it as a patio but it was much too elaborate for that. Perhaps it was more of a terrace or veranda. Regardless, it gave a spectacular view of the courtyard below, the waters and the mountains beyond, and seemed oddly familiar to Sigi. It looked a bit like the view from one of her stepfather's friend's houses in Colorado and at first she simply though it was bringing that to mind. But after a moment or two of staring at the landscape, she convinced herself that it was this scene that was familiar, not that it was reminding her of another. Besides, it really didn't look that much like Colorado. The sky was an amazing mix of blues and greens and yellows and silvery streaks of something. It was certainly no Earth sky.

No, she remembered where she had seen this – once, in a ludicrous dream where the backyard of her childhood home had mysteriously change and an immaculate mountain range and lake had appeared and she had scaled the mountains with superhuman strength she'd never had before. She had dreamed it all. The sense of déjà vu did not abate.

"Sigyn?" a voice said from behind her. She turned to find a ginormous man behind her, both tall and wide and with a dark, thick beard. "My name is Volstagg. I am one of the Warriors Three and a compatriot of Thor's. He's asked me to show you to your quarters so if you could follow me…"


	5. Chapter 5

Sigi had once watched a television travel show about an inn in Minnesota that was designed to look like a Viking residency. Sigi's room here on Asgard looked remarkably like the footage shown of the Nordic inn, except it was all a little more… well, Asgardian. A large sprawling bed stood in in the center of the room with a rich canopy enclosing it. Wide, Gothic windows faced the mountains and the lake, giving an exquisite view of the sunset. A vanity was pushed against one wall and a pair of chairs and a small table sat against the other. It was small, but comfortable.

Sigi, however, did not have an opportunity to take much more in. After Volstagg had left, she collapsed into the bed and fell into a deep sleep. It was deep, but not exactly sound. Series of strange images and complex thoughts flowed through her mind and when she awoke, some hours later, she felt as if she had been fighting some battle in her sleep rather than resting peacefully.

Waking up happened suddenly, as if someone had whispered her name in her ear to rouse her. Her eyes flashed open, racing to remember where she was. The sight of morning light pouring in through the windows befuddled her at first, but as she scanned across the canopy and the furniture in the room, Sigi recalled where she was. She stretched slowly, carefully, not feeling quite awake yet.

"Sigyn," a voice whispered, caressing, beckoning.

Sigi bolted upright in bed. She had not imagined the voice after all. And she knew exactly who it was.

"Oh no you don't," she spat aloud, leaping out of bed. Perhaps that was why she had been so exhausted upon waking; she had been fighting off Loki's voice all night. She hoped that by getting up and doing something it would be easier to ignore his mental prying.

While she slept, someone had come in and left a tray of food on the table near the chairs. A bowl of something that looked remarkably like oatmeal topped with fruit sat at the center, along with a teapot that was still spouting steam and a plate piled with scone-like pastries. Sigi half wondered if the food was delivered by magical elves or something of that nature. Nothing here would surprise her now. But she had been exhausted and likely had simply slept through an Asgardian leaving the tray. Besides, she could sleep through an explosion. Being on Fury's strange helicraft had taught her that.

Sigi at the oatmeal (it was still hot, though she had no idea how long it had been sitting there) and drank the tea but the richness of the pastries seemed a bit much in addition and, after all, the oatmeal was plenty filling. She wondered if this was a standard breakfast for the typical Asgardian. She could imagine Thor devouring the pastries in no time flat.

After eating, Sigi felt a bit restless and decided to leave her room and try to get a bearing as to where she was in the castle. It hadn't taken Volstagg long to lead her from the veranda where he had met her to a staircase winding up to another floor where her room was. Backtracking to the veranda would be easy and she could do with the fresh air.

As she swung open the door, she lept back in surprise at the figure of Thor, his right hand raised to knock on the door she had just opened.

"Hi," she squeaked, a bit startled.

"Good morning, Sigyn," he replied. "I hope you slept well."

"Very well. What's up?"

"Have you eaten?"

Sigi nodded.

"Odin Allfather has asked to meet you – properly this time. That is if you are willing."

"Oh – yes, of course," Sigi said. "Allons-y."

Thor gave her a confused look.

She sighed. "Let's go."

Sigi forced herself to pay attention to where they were heading – down two flights of stairs, left turn, down a corridor, down another flight of stairs – but it was very difficult to pay attention while realizing how very different she was from the typical Asgardian. For one, the jeans and jacket combination was not really the dress code of Asgard. And for another, she felt incredibly tiny walking past these beings who appeared human but most definitely were not. Sigi had never really thought she was short for human; sure, she wasn't tall, but it didn't matter. Most human girls averaged around 5'4", 5'5" so she was just about average. But here, around these towering god-like beings, the shortest of whom seemed to be no less than 5'8", Sigi most definitely felt short.

The throne room, in its cathedral-like splendor, made Sigi feel even smaller. It suddenly occurred to her in a way that it never had before that Thor was a form of royalty, that his father, Odin was a king, that Loki was…

_A would-be king_, the voice whispered.

_Cram it, mischief man_, Sigi volleyed back. _I don't need you buzzing between my ears at the moment._

_But you'd find it acceptable at other times_? Loki replied slyly.

_I wouldn't get your hopes up_.

"Odin Allfather," Thor announced broadly, "I have brought Sigyn, daughter of Maddox, so that you may meet her acquaintance."

"Allfather," Sigi said, bowing. She wasn't sure of how to address Odin but it seemed something formal yet simplistic would be best.

Odin smiled slightly and nodded for her to stand upright. "Thor has told me about your curious genealogy. You have no clue to who your father was?"

"I do not," Sigi confirmed, for what felt like the hundredth time.

"Nor do I, I am afraid, my dear," Odin responded. "However, your healing powers seem unique to our kind. It would stem from a form of magic, I should think. Have you any other abilities?"

"None that I'm aware of." She rethought this statement. "Wait, actually, yes. Did Fury tell you about the morbid clairvoyant bit?"

"Yes."

"Ah. Well then, yes, that's all I know of."

"Indulge me," Odin said. He stood from his throne and walked down towards her. He circled her and Sigi forced herself to stay still, rather than craning her head around like a demented owl. Odin suddenly lunged at her and, before she could even consciously realize what she was doing, Sigi had crouched into a defensive position and thrown up her hands. Some transparent yet discernable field surrounded her, a bluish-purple aura of energy. Odin stared in surprise but swung forward, using his scepter to prod at the bubble surrounding Sigi. There was a flash of light and Odin's scepter was thrown backwards, causing Odin himself to stumble on his feet.

Sigi's hands dropped and the field around her disappeared as well. She fell to her knees, feeling suddenly drained. "I'm sorry," she gasped. "That's never happened before."

"You're never been provoked to defend yourself; why would it have?" Odin replied. "But perhaps being on Asgard has awakened a different potential for you. Tell me, Sigyn, have you any warrior's knowledge? Any fighting skills?"

"I did archery while in high school," Sigi said. "And fencing in college. I had an interest in them, as my step-father had, and he encouraged me to pursue it."

"Were you exceptional at these skills?"

"I learned quickly. Was encouraged to pursue fencing professionally. But I never had an interest in it. I much preferred helping people than fighting them."

"But you would fight if you had to?"

"Yes. If I had to, in defense. To protect someone or myself."

Odin nodded thoughtfully. "I will speak with the family of Eir. It seems your abilities and thoughts seem most aligned with her kin's. Perhaps you descend from them in some way."

"Thank you," Sigi murmured, feeling suddenly embarrassed and worried. So much work was being put into trying to find who her father was. She realized, quite subtly, that perhaps she didn't want to know. She had never concerned herself with who her biological father was; her stepfather Stan had always been the one she'd seen as the paternal one in her life. "I just want you to know that if you can't find my father, that I won't be upset. I've never known him and finding him isn't life or death for me."

"I am glad you are not concerned. However, it is important to us to find him," Odin responded. "One of our kind has not, in recent history, intermingled with one of your planet and it is of utmost importance that we discover why he went to Midgard and bore you. And to know what occurs when our blood mixes with human. What the benefits and… consequences… are."

Sigi tried not to let her worry get to her. What had she been expecting? A big group hug from Odin and a congratulatory, "Yay, you're half-Asgardian, welcome to our planet, here, have a group hug and make yourself at home"? It was ridiculous in retrospect. They wouldn't embrace her; they couldn't. They didn't fully understand who – and what – she was. They were afraid she could be an enemy as much as ally.

"Of course," Sigi whispered back.

Odin looked at her sagely. "Thank you for being acquiescent to our search. I would but ask that you stay here with us until we have determined whether there is anything else we might learn from or about you and then we will send you home. Is this an acceptable compromise?"

"Yes," Sigi said. "Yes, very much so."

"Thank you. You may go." Odin looked at his son. "See to it that she has a proper guide to show her around."

"Of course, Allfather. Come, Sigyn," Thor said kindly.

Sigi followed, a bit in shock. Home. She would be going home. That was good, wasn't it?

No, it wasn't. She didn't want to go home. It was a bit like the time she'd had a layover in the Amsterdam airport on a return trip from a short vacation in Germany. She'd never been to Amsterdam before and she'd had half a mind to move her ticket back to a few days later to give herself a chance to see the city. There was nothing worse than going to an amazing place and seeing nothing but the airport. But she was strapped for cash and spending more time abroad and delaying her trip home was impossible. And so she left, full of regret for the streets she would never walk down, the museums she wouldn't visit, the canals she wouldn't cross, the restaurants she wouldn't eat at.

It was exactly how she felt about Asgard. She had been here for so short of a time and the entire planet intrigued her. It felt familiar and foreign all at once; how could she just leave it when Odin had no use for her anymore? She didn't want to think about going home to… well, to whatever Fury had planned for her. A shitload of training and studying, no doubt. Maybe she'd get lucky and be able to work with Coulson instead. She doubted it; Fury had expressed interested in working with her one on one. Probably because he didn't trust her any more than Odin did.

Incidentally Odin and Fury had a lot in common – distrustful of everyone and everything, operating from a shadowy, unclear rational, frustrating everyone with their confidence and bull-headedness, wearing eye patches… yes the similarities were rather striking.

_Interesting observation. I quite agree_, Loki commented.

Sigi chose to ignore him.

As they were walking back through the corridors, Thor and Sigi encountered a group of four Asgardians, a woman and three men, one of whom Sigi recognized as Volstagg.

"Thor!" Volstagg cried. "How goes it?"

"Very well," Thor smiled. "You have met our guest, but I am afraid the others have not. Sif, Hogun Fandral, may I introduce Sigyn, daughter of Maddox. Sigyn, the rest of the Warriors Three, Hogun and Fandral, and the mighty warrior Sif."

"Pleasure to meet you," Sigi said."

"Ah, the human," Fandral smiled.

"Half-human," Hogun correct, "at least as I understand it."

"Half-human indeed," Sigi sighed.

"Odin Allfather has asked that I find a guide for her so that she may see more of Asgard," Thor explained. "Perhaps all of us should go… on an excursion of sorts."

"It will be like old times," Sif smirked. "What exactly did you have in mind?"

"Sigyn, what do you desire to do?" Thor asked.

Damn, the man had a way with words; no one had ever phrased that question quite that way. "I'd just like to see more the of outer lands around the castle – the countryside, the mountains, whatever there is to see."

"Can you ride a horse?" Hogun asked.

"Yes. It's been a few years, but yes, I know how to ride."

"A riding trip it is!" Hogun cried. "We should take her to all of our old haunts…"

_When I was once amongst you_… Loki said, almost longingly.

Sigi could not stand it any longer. "Shush," she whispered. Thor looked at her out of the corner of his eye. "Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?" he asked.

"I heard… never mind." She wouldn't mention it until it became something she couldn't handle. Loki was a nuisance but not meddlesome yet.

"We should get you a change of clothes," Thor said. "Yours must be rather soiled. Sif, would you or any of the other maidens have something she could wear?"

"I will ask around," Sif said. "I'm certain I can find at least a tunic and pair of trousers."

Sigi returned to her room and Sif appeared a short time later with a sack of clothes. She had been able to find much more than just a tunic and trousers and Sigi was impressed with the variety. She had been given a variety of attire – a knee-length white tunic, a long forest green skirt, a corset-like bodice in the same shade of green as the skirt, a long-sleeved blue dress, a pair of black tight-fitting trousers, a plate-like vest, metal gauntlets and belt, and brown leather boots. It seemed when Sif had thrown this assemblage of clothes together she could not decide if Sigi would prefer to look more maiden-like or more warrior-like. Wonderful for her not to assume.

_Well_, Sigi thought, _why not a bit of both_? She pulled on the tight black trousers and the white tunic, wearing the green bodice with it, along with the boots. And, because she could not resist, she threw on the metal gauntlets and belt as well. She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror before heading out and startled herself for a moment.

_Wow_, she realized. _I look like a proper Agardian_.

It filled her with a sense of pride and confusion. The confusion, she however realized, was not just her own.

She would have to mention Loki's mind meddling to Thor after all.


	6. Chapter 6

If there was a place made for horseback riding, it was Asgard. The terrain was rugged enough to be interesting, but not so rugged for it to be rough on both horse and rider. Sigi found herself atop a gorgeous black steed that she could have managed even if she'd had lesser knowledge about riding.

It was difficult to take everything in – the wind blowing through her hair, the freedom and power she felt in her new attire, the beautiful, multi-colored sky beckoning above her, the roll of the hills and the waving of the grass in the wind, the jagged outlines of the mountains in the distance, reaching up to tear at the sky. It was so gorgeous it made her throat ache and filled her eyes with tears.

As they stopped for a rest besides a stream, Sigi found herself actually crying, embarrassed but continuing all the same. Thor noticed and sat down besides her.

"What troubles you, Sigyn?"

Sigyn had never liked her full name, but hearing the Asgardians say it gave it a different tone. She was going to miss that. "I was thinking about what your father said about how I will go home after he has found all he can about me. But… I don't want to go home. I know he has no reason to trust me, but this place is in some way a part of me. And I don't want to leave it. I want to stay here and learn more about it, see more of the land, breathe more of the air. It's not that I don't want to go back to Earth ever… just not yet. I love it here."

Thor smiled at her. "I am certain that if you wanted to stay, Odin would not be against it. He often comes across as harsh, as he is concerned for his people, and he is not certain how to think of you yet, he is not accustomed to treat you as an Asgardian. I am sure, in time, he would treat you the same as the rest of us. But for now, he still thinks of you as another, as an outsider."

"As he does for Loki," Sigi said bitterly. She was taken aback by her words; she was not certain she had even thought them, but they had appeared and flowed out like water from a tap.

Thor looked at her strangely.

"I'm sorry," she apologized. "I didn't mean that… that was…" She stopped herself and swallowed deeply. "I don't know how you fight off his influence all the time. It's exhausting."

"Who's influence? What do you mean?"

"Loki. He's been rattling around inside my brain since I got here."

Thor turned towards her, wide-eyed and concerned. "Sigyn, we do not have to deal with Loki's influence. Odin Allfather ensured that his cell would prevent him from using magic beyond its enclosure. Only in the prison is one susceptible to his meddling, as you were when you were there. But beyond that, he was no power."

"But he does; he's been rooting around my head since I left there," Sigi explained. "I've been fighting him off but all the same, he's there. I think he just spoke through me then, with the comment about how Odin is treating me. Which is annoying… I'm letting him get to me."

Thor looked terribly worried. "We must tell Odin Allfather. Perhaps Loki has found a way to break through the security of the cell and work through your mind. If we return now…"

"There's no hurry," Sigi said. "I've been dealing with him this long, I can deal a while longer. He's not going to suddenly turn me into his little monkey boy or anything. It's fine. I don't want to leave just yet, anyway. I like it here."

"It is a marvelous place. We used to come here quite often after sparring to relax."

"Mainly because it gave Thor a chance to forget how badly I had beaten him that day," Sif said, sitting down on Sigyn's other side. "There were a few times where the mighty Thor had a bit of an embarrassing streak when paired against me."

"There is perhaps only one warrior who can best me," Thor admitted. "And that is Sif."

Sigi smiled. "We could use more warriors like you on Earth. Strength is something women need encouragement to show, rather than being told to fearfully avoid it."

"Ah, but they have you to tell them otherwise," Sif smiled.

Sigi wondered what she meant by this. Sigi was no warrior. She had done nothing to prove her might or vigor. And yet Sif was implying she was strong regardless. It was warmly reassuring.

They road back to the castle where they were met with a great feast being served in a great hall. Never before had Sigi seen so much food – entire roasts, tureens of gravy and potatoes, platters of roasted vegetables and rolls, mysterious desserts that looked too whimsical and beautiful to be real.

"What's the occasion?" she asked Volstagg.

"What?" he replied, confused.

"What's the reason for the feast?"

"Feast?" Volstagg laughed. "This is but supper. You should see how we really do feasts!"

Sigi could only imagine.

Throughout dinner, she felt a nagging tug at the back of her mind, a voice urging her to leave the table and to wander elsewhere in the castle. She knew exactly who this was and where it wanted her to go. It seemed futile to resist any longer; it was nothing but an additional worry and exhausting toll on her mind.

Once she had eaten her fill – less than a fifth of what the others managed – she excused herself and followed the call down to the prison in the underbelly of the castle. She made sure to keep her mind resistant, to show no sign that she was following the beckoning until she arrived outside of Loki's cell. He was seated on a pallet against the far wall, turned away from her, unaware she had appeared. It was probably not high on her list of good life choices, but she couldn't keep her curiosity and his nagging at bay any longer.

"You called," she said aloud, dryly.

Loki smiled and turned towards her. "It took you long enough."

"Your mental paging wore me down. I hope you're happy."

"Not at all. I've never seen someone resist my influence like that.

"You mean the influence you're not supposed to be capable of outside of this enclosure? Thor's not going to be happy when I remind him of the earworm you've become."

"Oh, I doubt that he will remember." Loki stood and walked towards her. "You did a rather good job of assuaging his fears, of downplaying just how present I've become in your mind."

"Don't flatter yourself. You've been nothing I couldn't handle."

"Really? I find that you are not being entirely honest. I can sense your fear."

Sigi straightened her posture. "A little fear is inevitable and can be beneficial. It is only those who say they fear nothing that are being dishonest."

"So you are afraid of me," Loki said, narrowing his eyes.

"Afraid? Perhaps. Wary? Certainly. You did try to level New York. I saw that with my own eyes."

"Then you know full well what I'm capable of."

"Yes."

"And yet I'm nothing you can't handle?"

"Not at the moment, no," Sigi smirked. "Not behind that glass." She reached out her hand to rap her knuckles against the enclosure only to find her hand falling through empty space. She recoiled suddenly in panic.

Loki chuckled dryly. "Odin Allfather put quite a bit of thought into this little cage. The facsimile of a door, the appearance of walls. Anyone can move in and out of this space as they please. Except for me. I am trapped within it, regardless of what I do. It is more of a prison of the mind than anything else. But please, step inside and join me in my oubliette. You can walk out and leave it just as easily as you entered."

Sigi hesitated, knowing if Fury could see her at this very moment, he would knock her ten ways into next Tuesday. But he wasn't here. The freedom for her to decide on her own was exhilarating. In a moment she would likely come to regret, she stepped forward into the cell.

The air was somehow cooler inside and smelt faintly of juniper. Sigi feared that she would be dead within seconds or at the very least fighting to defend herself. That didn't happen. Instead, she realized she was standing in conifer forest, freshly fallen snow coating the ground. It was a projection from Loki's mind, hyper-realistic in its appearance. As an illusion, the snow did not feel terribly cold but refreshing and seemed to glisten. Sigi wondered if Loki always kept his surroundings like this or if he'd changed it for his guest. Regardless, it was soothing.

"I like this," she said in awe, looking around.

Loki's eyes shifted, fighting to conceal some thought. "It is a respite from the mundane of the prison." He studied her again as she took in her surroundings, his eyes flickering across her. "That attire suits you exceedingly well, by the way."

Was a man who'd tried to destroy an entire planet complimenting her wardrobe choices? "Um… thank you," Sigi replied, caught a bit off-guard. "I'm not entirely sure how Sif found clothes that fit as I'm a bit on the petite side for an Asgardian but they're rather nice, whoever's they are."

"A juvenile's, I should think. Regardless, you wear the look well. It seems your true heritage is coming through."

"_Part_ of my true heritage," Sigi emphasized. "I am still half-human, after all. Assumedly, this is what's caught your interest about me?"

"That… and something more." Loki began to pace around her, his shoes crunching through the snow. He continued to circle her, making her feel a bit like a small mammal about to be swept up as a raptor's dinner.

"What _are_ you doing?" she cried. "Were you a vulture in another life?"

"Sorry," he said, stopping in his tracks. "Am I bothering you?" His eyes flashed dangerously and Sigi wondered if she really ought to tell him the truth. Well…

Her tongue was quicker than her mind. "Yes, as a matter of fact, you are. Your staring is a bit rude."

Loki frowned. "Apologies. Now, from what I've gathered, you've got the skills of an enchantress and a mystic, with your healing prowess and defensive abilities, along with your odd knack for predicting death."

"That about sums it up."

"But there's something I've been wondering," Loki stepped in front of her, leaning forward. "Does your healing pertain to only physical injuries or can you heal those below the surface as well?"

"As far as I know, anything physiological is possible…"

"What about in the mind?" Loki said, almost desperately. "Can you heal non-physical ailments?"

Sigi's throat sealed shut and her pulse doubled. This, _this_ was why he had brought her here. He, a great and powerful man, driven by vision and rage, doubted the soundness of his own mind. And he wanted her to fix it for him.

"I… I don't know," Sigi said truthfully. "I've never tried before."

"Would you try? On me?"

Sigi looked at him, appalled. "Why should I? What have you done to deserve my sympathy?"

Loki eyed her carefully. "Have I given you any reason to not trust me while you've been here?"

"Where do I start?" she said dryly.

Loki gave an aggravated sigh. "Would you fail to help someone if they were ill just because they were a criminal? Because they were accused of some sin or some offense? Would you refuse to heal them because of it?"

"You tried to kill Phil Coulson," she whispered in defense.

"I didn't succeed?"

"No. You didn't. Because of me."

"Ahh," he realized. "One less drop of red on my ledger."

"But you still tried to. You had intent to kill."

"And you have the intent to let me die."

Sigi faltered. "You feel you're dying?"

"I am in constant pain. If that is not a sign of impending mortality, then I do not know what else is."

There was a strangely truthful quality to his voice and it struck Sigi as none of his persuading or coaxing had before. She considered carefully, weighing her reaction to be sure that he was not attempting to coerce her. If she was going to do this, she wanted to make certain that she decided with her own resolve.

"Alright," she said at last. "I'll do it. Please," she whispered, walking towards him, "don't let me live to regret this."

She raised her hands, took a deep breath, and placed them on either side of Loki's head. She was gripped by a sudden force, as if something had seized her in a powerful ear hug. The scene before her faded away and instead she was privy to a barrage of images. Flashing before her, she saw a young dark-haired boy standing to the side of another blond-haired youth who was roughhousing with a man who looked suspiciously like Odin. Sigi realized she was looking at young Loki and Thor. These were Loki's memories. The montage continued – Thor and his compatriots teasing Loki, a tepid at best relationship with Odin, a building jealousy at Thor for the pride Odin felt towards his eldest son, the realization on Jotunheim that he was something more than an Asgardian, Odin's acknowledgement that Loki was not truly his son, his grappling with an already present self-loathing and devious nature, along with the momentous realization he was a Frost Giant, the very creatures he had been raised to hate…

More now, with a rush of anger and fear as Loki found himself drifting through space to a strange planet where he was promised great power if only he would allow his mind to be used by a powerful being called the Other, the torture and manipulation he underwent as he allowed his mind to be played with like a cheap toy, the ensuing madness that came from an identity crisis and dwelling endlessly upon murder and jealously as well as the madness brought about by the work of the Other, the fierce desire for control Loki had acquired as a new power was bestowed upon him to claim the tesseract, a sense of control he had never been able to feel in any part of his life before…

Sigi felt a sense of release and quickly pulled her hands away. The snowy conjured scene had faded and Sigi and Loki were left facing each other in the grim cell. Sigi was breathing heavily, her mind overwhelmed with what she had seen and what she had felt. For the memories had not been memories alone; they had been burdened with the emotions of their bearer, the hate and sorrow, malaise and pain Loki had himself felt.

Loki appeared to be in a state of shock as well, a confused, almost fearful expression struck across his face. What had she done, exactly? Sigi wondered. What had Loki seen or felt as Sigi had been dealt some of his most painful memories? She didn't entirely want to know.

"What have you done to me?" Loki gasped.

"I… I don't know," Sigi said honestly. "Did it work?"

"Would I know so soon? Something happened at least. I saw…"

Whatever Loki had seen was drowned out by the roar of stone and mortar giving way as the outside wall of the prison imploded.

* * *

**A belated Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays to you all! I've been meaning to post this new chapter for a while, but with school and the holidays, I didn't get the chance. Better late than never, I suppose. Hope you're enjoying this so far and many thanks for reading!**


	7. Chapter 7

Perhaps it was out of instinct, perhaps it was out of some sense of empathy Sigi now felt for Loki, but as the walls crumbled down outside of the cell, she found herself jumping protectively in front of him.

Loki stared at her as if she was mad. "What _are_ you doing? I am a god. I can take care of myself."

"Oh. Right." Sigi blushed, steeping aside. "What do you think is happening?"

"It would seem a siege is taking place on our little palace. Most likely by Frost Giants."

"And you know this how?"

Loki raised an eyebrow. "Because… I know."

"You cocky bastard – you brought them here, didn't you?"

"I've been locked in a cell; I've done nothing," Loki said innocently. "But I imagine it probably has something to do with my attempt to destroy their planet in the past."

"Well, this sounds terrible," Sigi said. Rubble continued to fall as one end of prison collapsed. "How the hell are we going to get out of here?"

"We?"

Sigi realized what she had said. "I mean…Well…"

The prison was half-destroyed; she couldn't just leave Loki there. But then again, he was supposed to stay imprisoned and who knew what he would do once he was released…

"The palace is already in shambles. What harm could it do freeing me now?" Loki suggested.

"Am I even capable of getting you out?"

"It only takes an Asgardian willing to release me to set me free. And as you're half, I figure it should do the trick." Loki held out his hand. "Just don't let me go."

Sigi looked at his palm hesitantly before taking ahold of his grasp.

"Now walk out of the cell as if it were the most natural thing in the world."

She began walking, Loki falling in step behind her, and approached the glass door. Sigi stepped through it just as she had before and Loki followed her, the transparent walls giving a slight cracking sound as he crossed to the other side.

"There we are," Loki said, pleased. He swept a bit of stray dust off of his tunic and straightened his posture. "This is much better. Thank you, Sigyn." His voice was strangely sincere.

"Erm…you're welcome." She clambered over a pile of rubble and began to make her way towards the stairs, trying not to fall face-first into the sharp, jagged bits of stone that now lay everywhere.

"You seem suddenly uncomfortable, Sigyn," Loki said, following closely behind her. "Is all well?"

Sigi couldn't help but laugh. "The walls are falling down around us and you're asking me if I'm okay? This isn't your typical manner of interaction."

"What is my typical manner?" Loki said. "I believe we've only just met, my dear."

Sigi could feel the heat radiating from her face. The truth of this statement clenched in her stomach and she turned away from him. She had only just met him but from what she had just seen in his mind, she was beginning to think she knew him better than he realized. Did he even know what interaction had occurred in the attempted healing?

The farther end of the cell bay was relatively undamaged but, from the clamor Sigi could hear coming from above, it likely wouldn't last that way for long. Swiftly Loki began ascending the staircase and she followed suite, worrying as the floor and remaining standing walls shook around them.

In the blink of an eye, the stones beneath her feet disappeared as the floor gave way. Sigi hung for a moment in empty space, then began to fall rapidly, a piercing scream tearing its way from her throat. This was it then. It was all over. This was how she was going to die.

A strong hand grasped her forearm and she found herself dangling in midair, adrenalin coursing through her body and shock bewildering her mind. It took a few moments of focusing on nothing but her breathing and beating heart, thankful to still have these signs of life, before she managed to look up and piece together what had happened.

Loki was crouched on the remains of the staircase, holding Sigi's arm in his grasp and looking nearly as shocked as she was. He seemed to be confused by his own actions, that he'd saved her instead of letting her fall, and Sigi had the horrified realization that he might still decide to do just that. Why in the world had he saved her in the first place? Perhaps he simply wanted to see her die by his own hand.

Gravity began to take its toll and Sigi's arm slid in his grip. Loki swiftly pulled her up onto the staircase, drawing her up beside him. He stared at her, not has he had before with his predator-like gleam, but with a gaze of confusion that he had no way of working through. Sigi was fairly certain a similar sentiment was displayed on her face.

There was a clamoring above them and a Frost Giant appeared at the top of the stairs.

"Loki Laufeyson," he hissed. "We have found you."

Instantaneously Loki had transformed himself into his warrior garb of a dark chest plate, green cloak, and horned helmet. A spear appeared in his hand he stepped towards the giant swiftly. The giant smiled and raised his arm to strike, turning his fist into a blade of ice. As he did this, a blade pierced its way through his chest and he crumpled to the ground, revealing a duplicate Loki behind him. The Loki in front of Sigi dissolved and the present figure turned to her, ignoring his kill.

"Come. We must go."

Sigi stared in horror at the body of the Frost Giant. Despite the footage she had seen and the wounds she had healed working with S.H.I.E.L.D., she had never witnessed someone killed in front of her before. Yes, people had died when she hadn't healed them in time and she had seen a great deal of grisly wounds, but not… murder. This was different. This was a Frost Giant, not a human or Asgardian, and yet she could not leave this being. She wondered if he was dead yet…

She crouched beside him, wondering if the Jotun had a pulse, a circulatory system, any sort of vital signs she could recognize. She could not sense anything but thought she heard the whisper of an exhale. Perhaps it was just a trick of her mind. Regardless, she would try to heal him and if he were already dead, it wouldn't matter. Nothing would happen. Sigi could heal many things but restoring life did not seem to be among her capabilities.

"What are you doing?" Loki hissed, realizing what she was about to do. "Get away from that. He is an enemy. He has no sympathy for your kind."

"Since when do you talk of sympathy?" Sigi said coolly. She concentrated and focused, but nothing happened. "Never mind. He's already dead."

"Of course. I aimed to kill. And I'd prefer you didn't interfere."

"Your ideas of friends and foes don't matter to me. I'll heal whomever needs it."

He was staring at her a bit strangely as she passed him on the stairs to an open hall above the prison, as if he could not believe she had dared to shrug off his threatening manner so candidly. Sigi stopped in the hall, trying to gage where she was in the castle, Loki standing behind her and ever watching. In a swift move, he had grabbed her wrist and dragged her towards him, until she was uncomfortably close to his chest. In the split second this action took place, Sigi's mind was racing to decide whether she was in certain danger. She caught a glimpse of confusion across Loki's face, as if he himself were uncertain whether she should live or die. He reached out and ran his thumb across her temple and down the curve of her cheek in a surprisingly gentle gesture. Something like admiration shown in his eyes, but just as quickly as it had appeared, it flickered away. A certain wariness took its place and he pulled her along side him up the to the next floor.

"You must think you're so clever, doing what you've done to my mind," he growled, "but I'm going to insist you undo it."

"Undo done what?"

"You've bewitched me," he hissed. "You said you'd heal me and instead you caused this… this lapse of sentimentality."

"You just killed someone and you're feeling sentimental?" Sigi was beginning to get annoyed. "I did exactly what you asked. I've never tried to heal mentally before, but I didn't do anything different. I'm sure there's some things I can't change but if you had some chemical imbalance…"

"This has nothing to do with bodily humors or any form of neuroscience," Loki spat. "Whatever you did was beyond that, dear enchantress. You put your own notions of empathy in my head, trying to give me a conscious. And you thought you could get it away with it."

"That's ridiculous, not to mention impossible, and how, or maybe more importantly _why_ would I give you a conscious? Clearly, you already have one, as warped as it may be. The guilt you feel about your relationship with Thor is certainly evident of that…"

Sigi fell silent, fear constricting her throat as she realized she had said too much. Loki turned towards her slowly, his face etched with rage. Did he know what she'd seen during the healing? Did he know how much of his own past had been seen by her?

He stood there, nearly shaking with anger. "What did you just say?" His gaze was wrathful and aiming to kill but Sigi could not look away.

"Brother!" Thor's voice thundered through the air. "Step away from her!"

Neither one of them moved, each continuing to stare the other down. Sigi had not noticed how close the two of them had drawn until Thor appeared. She wondered if Thor was reading a high level of threat between them. He certainly sounded enraged.

"If you harm her, Loki, I swear to you, it will not matter if you are kin of mine. I will kill you if I have to..."

A look of deficiency appeared in Loki's eyes as Thor spoke, immediately coloring the situation as one of right and wrong. For a moment, Sigi understood his anger. Thor had every reason to be concerned, but the overreaction at this encounter showed. The palace was being attacked by Frost Giants and Thor found the opportunity to chew his brother out. It seemed a bit untimely and a rather hasty judgment on Thor's part. Yes, certainly Sigi felt threatened but it wasn't what Thor saw it as. This wasn't a life or death fight. This was a fight over something else entirely.

"You lured her with your manipulations," Thor seethed.

"I did no such thing. She came to me of her own will."

"A will you imposed on her!"

"Thor, stop," Sigi said coldly. "I did choose to come to him; I wasn't forced."

Thor looked confused. "But…why, Sigyn? You know what he's capable of."

"I know," she said, glancing at Loki. "I'd never forget it for a second. I just have a history of making poor life choices. But the fault is not his; it is entirely mine."

Both Thor and Loki looked shocked at this admission; Loki more so than his foster brother, as if he could not believe that someone would not easily put the blame on an established villain and a readily available scapegoat.

Thor looked at her sadly. "You must suffer the consequences for your actions, Sigyn."

The tone of his voice startled Sigi as the magnitude of what she had done grew on her. She had associated with and freed a known war criminal; what would be her punishment indeed?

"You have to leave here, Sigyn. You cannot stay, not now. I would not wish for Odin Allfather's law against those who aid accomplices to fall upon you. Earth is the only safe place for you now and you must return."

"I… I…" Sigi stammered. That's what she was now, wasn't she? An accomplice. As much as she was loath to go, a bolt of terror ran through her upon imagining what Odin's punishment would be. Well, she'd had her fun and her adventure; perhaps it was time she returned to her real life, where she belonged. "Of course," she murmured.

The Warriors Three and Sif barged into the room, weapons in hand.

"Thor, we need you on the second level, the Frost Giants…" Hogun said, the words dying on his lips as he saw the stand-off between Thor, Loki, and Sigi. "Is everything alright?"

"It is under control," Thor said gravely. "I need one of you to take Sigyn to Heimdall."

"I'll do it," Volstagg volunteered.

"Take her, quickly," Thor said. "I will deal with my brother."

Sigi was swept into Volstagg's grasp and managed a brief look back before she was taken out of the room. Loki's green eyes had grown grim and dark look clouded his face. He wasn't watching as she left; instead, his eyes were locked on his brother and a look of hatred twisted his features. Then the doors closed behind her and Sigi was pulled out into the courtyard of the castle.

"I'm going to miss having you around here," Volstagg was saying as they strode – well, Volstagg strode, Sigi jogged to keep up with his long stride – down the Bifröst. "We don't get many friendly visitors here. And Sif's going to miss your spunk."

"My spunk?" Sigi cried. "She's going to hate me when she hears what I've done."

"Whatever do you mean?"

Before Sigi could explain, a cluster of Frost Giants farther down the bridge caught sight of them and moved to attack. Volstagg raised his weapon, but it was not necessary. Sigi thoughtlessly threw up her hands in defense, creating the same protective shield she had when provoked by Odin. The Frost Giants hit it and were thrown aside, stunned and confused.

"Damn," Sigi awed. "I should have played more sports in school."

Volstagg pulled her towards Heimdall, who was fighting off the last in the group of Frost Giants. "She is to be sent home," Volstagg instructed.

Heimdall nodded. "Fury installed the transporter. It will take me but a moment to activate it."

Volstagg turned to Sigi, placing his hands on her shoulders. "Safe journeys, my friend. I hope to see you again one day, but if not, fare thee well."

"Thank you for everything," Sigi smiled, the pain of her departure beginning to set in. She was terrible at good-byes and hated fumbling for the right words, especially now when her departure was so sudden. "I'll try to come back; I just don't know if I'll be allowed to. Just… thank you." She hugged him tightly. "Good luck with… all of this. And… goodbye."

"Until we meet again, dear Sigyn," Volstagg said, giving her shoulder a tight squeeze and walking back towards the castle.

"It is time," Heimdall said. "Are you ready?"

"No," Sigi said honestly. "But I must pretend to be."

"Careful, lady," Heimdall warned. "Pretending may lead down a dangerous path."

"Don't I know it," she sighed. "Goodbye, Heimdall. I hope to see you again."

"As do I, dear lady. As do I."


	8. Chapter 8

Sigi stepped through the portal that had appeared on the Bifröst, a ring of gentle light encircling her, and then found herself thrown onto the floor of Selvig's lab, feeling dizzy and stunned. Bruce Banner and Dr. Selvig were working there and stopped suddenly as she appeared.

"You're back," Banner said, surprised. "How was it?"

"Seems you've returned quicker than Fury estimated," Selvig added. He looked at her carefully. "Is everything alright?"

Sigi wasn't certain. She felt slightly nauseous, very disoriented, and quite a bit shocked, as if a bolt of electricity had traveled through her body. A rush of pain and misery flooded through her body and she found herself unable to hold back tears. She couldn't place exactly where this overwhelming sadness had come from, but she sensed it had been growing inside her for sometime and only her experiences and sudden departure from Asgard had released it. It was a sort of homesickness, a realization that Asgard was the one place in the world – well, universe – where she felt she belonged and longed to be accepted, only to be cast out, rejected. She was a traitor to them now, an accomplice to a criminal. And now that she was back on Earth, it was likely that Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D. would regard her in the same manner.

"Hey, hey," Banner said gently. "It's okay. Relax."

It was a bad sign if the guy with astounding anger management problems was telling her to relax. She took a strangled, hiccupping breath and tried to calm herself.

"What happened?" Banner asked.

"They forced me to leave. Asgard was attacked… and Loki…"

Banner looked uncomfortable. Sigi reminded herself that if anything would trigger anger in Bruce, it would be Loki.

"It's nothing," Sigi lied. "I'm just very tired. And very foolish." She picked herself up off the floor and bolted from the lab before she could begin crying again. Unsure exactly where her feet were taking her, Sigi found herself in the headquarters' cafeteria, where she'd often met up with Coulson for lunch. He was there now, sitting by a window and attempting to read a file and eat a cobb salad at the same time.

"You're back," Coulson said brightly, then saw the streaks of tears on her face. "What happened?"

"How do you do it, Phil?" Sigi asked. "How do you deal with being an ordinary man among superheroes and gods? I'm constantly pulled between two worlds. I was before I even knew what those worlds were. And now… now I've found a place where maybe I could be accepted. But I've ruined my chance of ever belonging there. All I've got is S.H.I.E.L.D. But I won't even have that for long."

Coulson looked at her sadly. "Tell me what happened on Asgard. And I'll see what I can do."

Sigi told him everything, even though she knew Coulson would relay it all back to Fury and her status would become just as suspect as she was with Thor and Odin.

"My attempts to be neutral have left me with no allies. I've nowhere to go, nowhere to hide."

"I'm sure Fury won't cast you out so suddenly," Coulson assured her. "He may not seem it, but he is rather willing to forgive, albeit not forget. He trusts Natasha and Clint, after all."

That was true. Both of them had rather sordid pasts. "They're different," Sigi shook her head. "They show their allegiance and power when they fight. I don't fight. I don't distinguish enemies. And this makes me all the more dangerous."

Coulson mulled over this. "I do wonder… why did you go to him? Loki, I mean."

The absence of judgment, of criticism from the very man that Loki had intended to kill struck Sigi in a way that anger or condemnation never could have. Coulson's question posed the gravity of what she had done without rebuking her for making that choice. It was a sort of kindness Sigi was no longer certain she deserved.

"I wanted to understand why he did it all. New York… Thor… you… all of it."

"Do you understand now?"

"No." Sigi reconsidered. "Yes. I mean, when I was there, I could see what his life was like, how he was led to where he is. But at the same time, it's a life I've never known, situations I've never found myself in, choices I would have never made. He is a product of his environment and his choices, a perfect storm of misfortune and poor judgment. If I stop and think about it, if I contemplate what it might have been like had I been raised in an environment where physical strength was highly prized and one made their name through their prowess at battle, perhaps I could understand why violence became so much a part of his nature."

"Doesn't really sound all that different from our world when you put it like that," Coulson winced.

Sigi sighed. "I feel as if I lamb raised amongst wolves, especially while working with S.H.I.E.L.D. It's not that I'm denial that I'm capable of violence – I know that I'm very capable of it, and at times too willing – but the fuse to ignite that anger is so long, I feel it would take an awful lot for me react in such away. Even defense… well, it seems I don't even have to fight back," she said, staring at her hands and thinking of the strange energy barrier they were capable of producing. "I don't condone what S.H.I.E.L.D. does half of the time, I'm afraid, and I don't know what this is going to mean now Fury knows what I am."

"Fury wants you as a medic, not a warrior," Coulson said, confused.

"But with defensive mechanism, my ability to sustain injury, my Asgardian lineage, and my knowledge of fencing and archery, what's to keep him from urging me into battle if there's the need? What's more, I'm concerned that I would agree to it. I have no lack of rage for cruelty; I could certainly turn to that."

"And yet you release one of the cruelest men known to us," Fury said, walking up to their table their table. "You've got me more than a little concerned, Ms. Maddox."

"How long have you been eavesdropping?"

"Long enough."

"Tell me that you just sent me on an intergalactic voyage just to reconnect me with my father then," Sigi glared.

Fury sighed. "You're right; we had more planned for you than just a bit of soul-searching and family connecting. But I warned you, Sigi – I warned you to stay away from Loki. And you defied me. Maybe defiance runs in your family."

"What do you mean?"

"We made a mistake when analyzing your blood test," Fury said, crossing his arms across his chest. "It would have saved us a lot of time and made your entire trip across the stars unnecessary. It isn't your father's side that carries the Asgardian heritage. It's your mother's."


	9. Chapter 9

Sigi was struck mute, trying to process this information. Her mother, an Asgaridan? It was ridiculous, impossible.

"It can't be. She told me, she's Welsh and German and she grew up in Cannon Falls, Minnesota. She has an interest in Norse mythology, nothing more. She's not… she can't…"

Something about it made a bit of sense. Her mother, Hanna, had always been the secretive sort. She had never told Sigi much about her upbringing, never spoken about her parents, other than to tell Sigi that they were no longer living, and she never had been clear about her family at all, except when she had said the bit about being Welsh and German when Sigi had done a school project about family ancestry (which she had nearly failed because trying to get information out of her mother was like pulling teeth). Sigi had never been skeptical about it but Hanna did have a strange way of dealing with her past.

"I want to see the evidence," Sigi said.

Coulson pushed the folder that was in front of him across the table to her. She scanned the file quickly, reading through the charts and tables that were printed, trying to make sense of it the best she could. Somehow they had managed to get her mother's DNA, through Stan, most likely, to match against Sigi's. Indeed, it appeared that, genetically, Hanna was not human.

"Oh. My. God," Sigi stammered. "And my father…"

"Is an unknown human," Fury said. "We've tried to track him down, to no avail. We had it backwards the entire time. We assumed because Thor had come here and that the Asgardians we'd met were male… well, it was a stupid assumption."

It had never occurred to Sigi either. But that was because she had known her mother her entire life; it didn't seem she had any secrets to be keeping. It seemed more logical that the one who was missing, the one who had left, had something to hide. And it had proven to be just the opposite.

A thought came quickly, darkly to her mind, one that chilled her in its appearance: _She deceived you, Sigi._ This was not Loki's voice; he was worlds away, perhaps not even alive now, if Odin had punished him for escaping. The thought chilled Sigi, but she pushed it away before she could dwell on it. No, the thought had been of her own making. Though the was truth to it, it make her uncomfortable to think so poorly of her mother, the one figure of constant support, other than Stan, that she'd always had in her life. It seemed utterly unfair that the one person she had always trusted had turned out to be a liar.

_But we all lie_, she argued. _It isn't that severe._

_Isn't it?_ the devil's advocate volleyed back. _You don't think it that severe to keep such an enormous secret hidden from one's own child?_

"Why would she keep this from me?" Sigi wondered aloud, more in means to keep her mind from making war with itself.

"Our world never knew of Asgard until Thor arrived; can you imagine trying to raise your child with the knowledge that they belong to a planet that no one had heard of before?"

Fury had a point and Sigi took a deep breath, letting this information settle in. Everything mattered on how she chose to interpret this. Relishing the anger would only fuel the flames to a fire she might never be able to put out. She calmed her mind and took a mental step back.

"It may not be a good reason," Sigi said, "but it's understandable. So does this change everything?"

"Only if you want it to. We've asked Hanna to come here for questioning about it; otherwise, no other changes come from us. They only come from you."

Sigi nodded in acceptance. Fury was right. All that mattered at the moment was how she chose to think. And right now, it seemed her rage was abating, that understanding and patience were taking its place. She recalled for a moment what it was like to be within Loki's mind, to see as he saw, and it frightened her how much they really had in common when it came down to it. There was a fine, indistinguishable line between right and wrong, between glory and failure, and if Sigi didn't accept this, the world would drive her mad as it had Loki. Or perhaps he was already mad to begin with. Perhaps people weren't driven mad; perhaps it was simply the world around them that was crazy.

At the moment, it didn't matter. What did matter was how Sigi was going to reconfigure her world to accommodate the fact that her mother wasn't who she'd always appeared to be. Fine. All right. She could handle this. It was strange, uncomfortable, unpleasant, but it wasn't earthshattering. It was a bit like the time her best friend had told the story about learning that her straight-laced mother had in fact smoked a hell of a lot of pot in college. It was a change, an expansion, a reevaluation one's mental representation of the universe. Wasn't it Cheap Trick who had said, "Mommy's alright; Daddy's alright; they just seem a little weird?" Leave it a '70 rock band to get the gist of it.

Sigi looked down, realizing she was still wearing the Asgardian attire and suddenly felt a bit foolish. As much as she wanted it to be, this wasn't her. Not anymore. She slipped out to the bathroom to change into a sweatshirt and jeans. This was her style, her place, her habitus. She was better off accepting this now than fighting against it.

Two days later, Sigi found herself having lunch with Hanna at a local Chinese restaurant with Coulson and Fury awkwardly lingering at a nearby table. Perhaps they had come along for moral support, perhaps they had come to make sure Sigi or Hanna didn't flip out and go on a rampage through town. It seemed their encounters with Asgardians was rather tainted by Thor and Loki's actions and they certainly didn't want to take any risks.

Over lo mein and wantons, Sigi forced herself to bring up the elephant in the room.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" she finally managed to ask. "Why keep it such a secret?"

Hanna set down her chopsticks and looked at her daughter sadly, her green eyes heavy and her greying blonde hair falling across her face. "I didn't want you growing up feeling different."

"But I always felt different. I would have regardless of my heritage. In part because of the healing, but also because I was taught differently about the world, I thought differently. Whether you were Asgardian or not, you raised me distinctively. And it shows."

Hanna closed her eyes. "Perhaps it was a mistake…"

"No," Sigi said abruptly. "No, it wasn't a mistake. What you chose to do. Honestly… honestly I don't mind. I mean, it would have been nice to know that there was a solid reason for why I always felt different. But I figured I was just like all the other misfits… I am like all the other misfits. Even to Asgardians I'm apparently an anomaly… though I liked it there. I wonder – why did you leave?"

"Odin," Hanna said simply. "I left because of Odin. The more complex reasons are unnecessary and irrelevant. From what I understand, you don't like him any more than I did. If anything, you have been more forgiving than I was."

"He's certainly… problematic," Sigi said simply. "What did you do when you lived there?"

"Studied magic, healing, that sort of thing. I was a relative of Eir's and that was our family's specialty – which you've clearly inherited. I used to look down on Earth, though, and think about escaping it all."

"How did you get here? No one seemed to realized you'd left," Sigi said, confused.

"No, they wouldn't have," Hanna said darkly. "Never mind how I got here. There are passages and wrinkles through time if you look hard enough for them. The 'why' is slightly more important. Perhaps more relevant too."

"Then why?"

"Because I believed humans were as strong as Asgardains, perhaps stronger in ways we could not understand. I wanted to be human and to have a human child and to live a life that had always been described as lowly to our kind. And I fell in love with your father."

Sigi was afraid to ask the most obvious question and Hanna looked at her strangely.

"You don't leap at the chance for me to finally tell you who he is. Why?"

"I've not known for so long. Would it make a difference now?"

"Maybe, maybe not. I'm not you."

Sigi pondered this. "You don't have to tell me now. Stan was always the father figure in my life, as far as I'm concerned. Wait… does Stan know about any of this?"

"Yes," Hanna said. "He knew from the start. He always said I should have told you. Maybe he was right."

"I don't know," Sigi said. She tried to imagine what it would have been like having this information earlier in her life, and she simply couldn't visualize it. It felt right knowing it now. Quieter, to avoid having Fury overhear her, she said, "I don't quite know how long Asgardians live, but tell me – did you ever meet Loki when you lived there?"

Hanna gave her a sidelong glance. "Why ask about Loki specifically?"

No good answer came to Sigi's mind. She'd longing for more information about the god of mischief and had been unwilling to ask Fury for fear he would react badly. She could have posed it as wanting more details on the enemy, but that wasn't her motive at all.

"Just… curious. I met him when I was there."

The look in her mother's eyes was impossible for Sigi to read. "Curiosity has always been your greatest agitator, Sigyn," Hanna sighed. "Perhaps I should have introduced you to Norse mythology when you were little."

Hanna refused to speak any more on the topic and Sigi relented and satisfied herself with eating her now cold lo mein. The waitress brought the check along with two fortune cookies, one of which Sigi eagerly opened. She'd always loved reading the fortunes. Hers was a bit different from the typical little message printed in red ink. It simply read: _You will show what you are capable of_.

"Well, that's vaguely ominous and threatening," Sigi remarked.

"It's better than mine. Apparently I'm going to come across some unexpected monetary gain," Hanna said dryly.

"Capable of…" Sigi muttered. "In what situation? Capable of _what_? Capable of understanding what this fortune means?"

"It's only a fortune cookie," her mother said, wrinkling her brow.

"Well, it's really bothering me," Sigi groaned. Given the circumstances, she would have much preferred a little funny quip about knowledge or humor or family or something. Not cryptic comments about capabilities and performance.

They left the restaurant, Fury and Coulson still lingering behind, and Hanna gave her daughter a tight hug.

"Please call Stan or me if you need anything," she said gently. "I'm always happy to hear from you. Even if you feel you have nothing to say… I like to hear you speak. It makes me feel you were the one thing I did right."

Hanna walked away and Sigi stood in the center of the city block, the afternoon sunlight reflecting off of the buildings around her. She had the sudden urge to call out to her mother, to say something more, but no words would come. Right now, it didn't matter. She didn't have to say a word. Her mother understood.


	10. Chapter 10

Sigi spent that night wandering aimlessly about her apartment. She couldn't sleep and she wasn't sure why. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw another pair staring back, a greyish-blue set, fraught with anger and pain. She regretted ever asking her mother if she had known Loki.

The amount Sigi knew about the Agardian was minimal. And still, after her attempted healing, she felt like she had known him longer. There was something familiar about the way he acted, the way he thought. It was as if he was her opposite, a reflection where on paths where she had found herself amongst peace and healing, he had found only war and death. Despite the opposing views, there was that glimmer of similarity, the way sun and rain both came from the sky and had their own ill effects in too much excess. It was perhaps a poor metaphor but Sigi was struggling to explain it within her own mind and was grasping for words. Something about Loki felt familiar to her, as familiar as the opening chords of her favorite song or the taste of a cup of coffee or the scent of her favorite perfume. It was an utterly perplexing realization and Sigi could not understand where it had come from.

An anxious, distraught feeling came over her as she struggled to label what she was feeling. One word kept surging forward in her mind with a bolt of fear and surprise: love.

Sigi had been in love before; she was no stranger to it. But it had never felt like this. Sigi wasn't entirely certain of what she was feeling. One moment she hated Loki for what he had done to those she cared about, especially Phil. She hated how he treated Thor and how he quickly he turned his anger to violence and hate. A moment later she could feel nothing but sympathy for him, a sense of understanding she was certain no one on Asgard harbored for Loki. Later she was overwhelmed by confusion and perhaps a certain sense of derision for the wearing down of what stood for morality in her world. Soon after she would enjoy the sense of cognitive dissonance, the fact that her mind was being pushed to reconsider. And then she would fall into fear, the fear of where she was heading both in mind and in action. Sleep was a thousand miles away as she struggled to juggle all of these thoughts and rationalize her way through it all.

Being so closely aligned with death, it was difficult for Sigi to feel good in her life. She could see what no one should see, know what no one should know. The uncontrollable clairvoyance labeled her as a wild card, an unpredictable force in a world that urged for control and order. Though it had troubled her younger years, she had come to accept it as part of herself. But that didn't mean it had ceased to resonate with its disorder and malaise in her everyday life. Being forced to deal with unsolicited knowledge of a fate yet to come had shaped her into an ambiguous, changeable being. And now, she found herself drawn to a similar force. That was all. It was a strange sort of curiosity. She was not in love. Love was for children; a simple notion, far too simple to explain her situation.

But still, she could not sleep.

Exhausted, she dragged herself to Selvig's lab the next dawn, searching for answers. Knowing her mother would tell her nothing, Selvig was her next best bet with his knowledge of Norse mythology. He was working alone that morning, tinkering with some contraption on a table near the back of his lab. Well, he wasn't completely alone. A brunette with dark-framed glasses was sitting at the desk in his office, working at a computer.

"Your wi-fi down here sucks," she groaned as Sigi entered.

"Blame Stark. He was messing with the router yesterday. Probably changed the settings," Selvig said, looking up. Sigi gave a little wave and leaned against one of the tables.

"I was wondering if you could do me a favor," she asked.

"It depends. What did you have in mind?"

"Tell me what you know about the Norse gods."

"Where do you want me to start?"

"Anywhere, really."

Selvig sighed. "Do you know anything about your namesake?"

"Other than the fact that it refers to a glacier? Nope."

This caused Selvig to look incredibly troubled. "I… I don't want you to think that you're being predestined to any certain fate if I tell you."

Sigi covered her face with hands. "Fury told you about what happened on Asgard, didn't he?"

"Yes, but… well, it's more than that," Selvig shook his head. "You're only part Asgardian, your life has been different than theirs so far. We have no way of knowing how close the myths are to their lives and I don't want to bother you with stories that may not be your own. Drawing in ideas of predestination and fate would only be troubling, I think."

"Sigyn," the girl at the computer, reading from the screen, "was the Norse goddess of…"

"Darcy, no," Selvig said sharply, cutting her off. "Sorry, that's Darcy Lewis, Jane Foster's research assistant. Jane's at a meeting with Fury and she's left her to me."

"And the crappy wi-fi. But it's all good," Darcy grinned. "Selvig and I go way back."

"God help me," Selvig muttered under his breath.

"So there is a Norse goddess with my name?" Sigi asked. "Tell me more."

"Fury told me about your abundant curiosity. Please, trust me when there are some things you shouldn't know."

"I thought you were all big on the knowing of things," Darcy called from the computer. "The whole 'S.H.E.I.L.D. shall keep no secrets' stuff."

"This isn't S.H.E.I.L.D., Darcy," Selvig groaned. "These are the stories of a world I never knew was possible and if she what it were drawing from…"

"Do I become like him? Like Loki? A killer with a thirst for blood?" Sigi demanded. "Do I kill someone important? Do I cause the end of the world? What if I do something and already put these events into action, Dr. Selvig, and I could have avoided it if I'd known? What then?"

Selvig looked down at his wristwatch and then at Sigi with a sad, serious glance. "Okay. I'll tell you. But if you hear anything that upsets you, don't say I didn't warn you."

"Fair enough."

Selvig gestured for her to follow him into his office. Two chairs were facing each other, parallel to the desk Darcy was sitting at, and Sigi and Selvig took a seat.

"In mythology, and only the mythology as far as I know," Selvig emphasized, "Sigyn is the goddess of fidelity. Her name translates to something along the lines of 'victorious girlfriend' –"

"BAMF," Darcy said loudly.

"And she is known for her constancy towards her husband." Selvig gulped. "Who is… Loki."

Sigi choked on her own spit and ended up coughing and laughing at the same time, curling up into a sodden heap in the chair. "You have got to be kidding me," she cackled. "Wait… is this a joke? Tell me it's a joke. Stark put you up to this, right?"

"I wouldn't joke about such things, Sigyn," Selvig assured her. "I'm completely serious."

Darcy read from the page on the computer's browser. "Sigyn, wife of Loki. Damn, girl, that is a serious commitment."

"Oh my God," Sigi choked. "No. No no no, no no no no."

"There should be a few more 'no's' there," Darcy said.

"You knew this?" Sigi cried, looking at Selvig. "Does Fury know? Does Phil know? Do the Avengers know? Does… does _Loki_ know?"

"I highly doubt that Loki knows his own future," Selvig assured her. "But yes, I knew, and I told Fury and Agent Coulson. It was part of the reason why Fury was so keen on you staying away from Loki in Asgard. Which failed beautifully, I might add. If Fury wasn't so interested in finding out your heritage, he never would have sent you."

"And in the end, he never would have had to in the first place," Sigi muttered, raising an eyebrow. "Ironic. Well, there goes any hope of Fury ever trusting me again."

"I wouldn't worry too much. There are differences between you and the goddess. For one, Sigyn was not part human, as you are. Who knows what that means for everything else?"

"Perhaps it means nothing. How much do they know about her otherwise?"

Darcy scrolled through the Wikipedia article. "Not much… hey, there is a glacier with the same name as you!"

"Yes, I don't believe there is much written about her in the mythology," Selvig said. "There's a story of aiding Loki during his imprisonment but little else."

Sigi blanched. "You don't say. Well, this has been enlightening. I think I'm just going to go throw myself off the nearest cliff now."

"Sigyn, there's no reason for you to have this reaction," Selvig assured her. "Fury won't be sending you back to Asgard so there's no reason to fret. You haven't done anything."

"Haven't I?" Sigi wondered. Perhaps not in action or in deed had she done anything, but her thoughts were definitely not as loyal to S.H.E.I.L.D.'s aims as Selvig anticipated. Perhaps because there was a growing part of her mind that felt – and accepted that it felt – a certain amount of empathy and interest in Loki's character. The villain that had nearly destroyed the world had become incredibly human – well, at least human-ish – to her and this was causing a growing degree of cognitive dissonance to her already boggled mind that no amount of late night rationalizing could fight off.

_Thor_, she wondered. How did Thor deal with this? Loki was his brother (more or less) and certainly cognitive dissonance plagued him more than her. But then again, perhaps Thor had a stronger moral compass than Sigi. The ability to heal anyone and everyone and seeing what sort of death awaited them affected one's judgment and it was much harder to draw the lines between good and bad when everyone simply ended up dead. It wasn't a "we all deserve to die" idea, but more of a "we all deserve to live" line of thought in which it was a real bummer that people did die and that anyone thought killing another person would solve any sort of problem ever was a grave mistake (pun intended).

Perhaps this was the difference, then, for Thor. Loki had tried to kill Thor, more than once. Sigi wondered what brought a person to truly want a sibling dead. As an only child, it was impossible for her to imagine. Not that she thought it likely for her to understand anyway. But she could not stop her mind from wondering and pondering what drove the god of mischief to do what he did. It was so far removed from anything Sigi could ever see herself doing…and yet a certain familiarity was still tied to it all, brought on by a being who did not belong and strove to find a place to inhabit outside traditional modes of order.

Sigi thanked Selvig for his time and wandered off to the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee. Feeling rather morose and uncertain what to do with herself, Sigi sat down at a table near the windows that looked out onto the street and tried to reason with herself. Selvig was right; there was no reason for her to be distraught about a myth written hundreds and hundreds of years ago that likely had nothing to do with her life. However, what bothered her was the tendency for these myths to be relevant despite those claims and the fact that Fury had kept this information from her. It made little sense, really. If the myths didn't matter, why had he warned her to stay away from Loki and yet kept his reasoning from her? It was as if he himself did not want to admit to the determining quality of the mythology but certainly wasn't going to take any chances with Sigi. And yet, it had happened anyway…

It was with a burning realization that Sigi singled out what bothered her about all of this. It was not the idea of being married to Loki that disturbed her. It was the very opposite. It pleased her. And this was what horrified her more than anything else.

She gave a strangled sob and did a face-plant into the table before her. It was a Thursday. She never had gotten the hang of Thursdays.

* * *

**Whew, we finally got that connection established; that's been a long time in coming. I hoping to keep adding new chapters regularly but no promises - the coming bits are proving rather difficult to write, but I think it's working itself out. Thank you all for reading and following!**


	11. Chapter 11

Selvig found her a few minutes later, though Sigi had been sitting with her forehead pressed against the table long enough for it to leave a red imprint against her forehead.

"You've got a…" Selvig said uncomfortably, gesturing towards his own forehead.

"I know," Sigi sighed. "What is it?"

"Darcy and I were concerned for you and we wanted to make sure you were alright."

"You looked like you were gonna barf," Darcy said, appearing from behind Selvig.

"Great. Thanks… I think."

"Are you sure you're alright?" Selvig asked, resting his hand on her shoulder.

"Um… no, actually, I'm not too sure." Sigi took a deep breath. "So what happens if I'm constantly thinking about the god of mischief and unable to sleep because I spend the night arguing with myself about my feelings?"

"Oh my God, what?" Darcy cried as Selvig's eyes widened in shock. "What, what what what what?"

"You should talk to Fury about it," Selvig demanded. "Right away."

"What?" Sigi cried. "Why?"

"Because it's another piece in a puzzle Fury is trying to prevent from coming together."

"What sort of puzzle are we talking about here?"

Selvig shook his head. "It doesn't matter. Even Fury is uncertain it's an actual concern of ours."

"What, do my emotions now cause the end of the world or something?" Sigi said sarcastically.

Selvig looked increasingly uncomfortable. "It really doesn't matter. The myths never predicted the powers you have and thinking that anything will really be as simple as it appears in word would be a great mistake."

"Not to mention this is all so Hegelian with 'great men of history' and the 'world spirit' and so on," Darcy said dryly.

"What?" Selvig said, wrinkling his brow.

"What do you mean?" Darcy asked perplexed.

"I have no idea what you mean by the word salad that just came out of your mouth," Selvig said. "So I'm bidding you to explain it."

"Wait, you have no idea what I'm talking about?"

Selvig sighed. "Yes, I have no idea."

"You don't know this? I seriously know something you don't know?"

"Tell us, Darcy," Selvig demanded.

"Hold on, let me just take this in… is this how you feel all the time?" Darcy exclaimed.

"Darcy!" Selvig cried.

"Okay, okay. Jeez. So this guy named Hegel has these theories about history, that there's these great men – emphasizing men, the sexist jerk – who are led by the 'world spirit' which is like the Force or whatever and it leads them to do either great or terrible things. He liked to focus on the great, methinks. Anyway, he basically created the way we think of history and we're all Hegelians now but considering Norse myths were created long before Hegel was even a zygote, Sigi probably shouldn't be worrying about if the 'world spirit' is leading her to greatness or terribleness or what have you."

Selvig stared at her in shock. "That was impressive."

"Thank you," Darcy beamed.

"How did you know all of that?"

"It's all from this historiography class I took. Like studying the history of history."

"I thought you were a political science major?"

"I am. I took because it fulfilled a degree requirement. Totally worth it though. And it did not result in near-death experiences, like the internship with you and Jane did. Though that final paper was nearly a killer…Anyway," Darcy said, looking at Sigi, "just embrace your freedom and agency and… stuff."

"In a deep academic way, that's sort of reassuring. I think," Sigi said.

"Good," Darcy smiled. "Basically, you shouldn't be feeling the pressure of a system focused on grand historical narratives and ranking some people as more important than others when making choices about life."

Selvig stared at her cautiously for a moment.

"What?" Darcy cried.

Selvig just shook his head. "Why exactly are you working with Dr. Foster again instead of something more… your field?"

"She was desperate. And this time around I get paid. You don't see any paid internships in my field, lemme tell you. Plus I sort of missed you guys."

Sigi was mulling over what Darcy had said, trying to attribute what about it was so comforting. "It all sounds familiar," she said eventually. "When we talk about health, we talk about it in similar ways. Term of sickness and problems, good and bad, progress and regression. We don't talk about wellness over all, just _being_, never accepting that maybe thing we see as problems are just parts of life. That maybe some things need to be worked around or accepted, not fixed." Sigi stopped herself suddenly. "Wait… what did I just say?"

"That maybe things need to be worked around and accepted, not fixed," Darcy echoed back.

Sigi's eyes widened. "That's it. _That's it_." She turned to Selvig suddenly. "I need to go back to Asgard. Urgently."

Selvig looked appalled. "Sigyn, we can't just send you back. Fury will want to debrief you and talk to you about this and after the incidents that occurred there's no way that he'll let you just waltz back into space."

"Why not?" Sigi asked. "Fury doesn't control me. I'm at most – what, a consultant? My contract with S.H.I.E.L.D. is pretty flexible. There is no stipulation to prevent me taking a holiday in outer space. I want adventure in the great wide somewhere."

"Do you want it more than you can tell?" Darcy asked. Selvig stared at her. "Sorry, _Beauty and the Beast_."

Selvig gave a frustrated sigh and thought deeply for a minute. "I'm going to get in so much trouble for this… but okay. Fine, I'll do it. But may I ask why you need to so desperately return to Asgard?"

"It's just…" How did she explain the break-through that she'd just had without telling Selvig exactly how sentimental towards Loki she'd become? That she'd realized that what had occurred was an exchange between them, her empathy for his memories? And that she couldn't heal him because maybe there was nothing wrong with his mind – at least not overtly – to begin with? "I want to know exactly what happened when I tried to heal Loki… it wasn't like other times; it was different. And it troubles me. I need to know why it happened. If Fury asks, tell him it's for his own benefit."

"Are you saying that it's not?" Selvig asked, arching an eyebrow in inquiry.

"No, not exactly. But for once I want to do something because I'm curious, not because Fury asked me to do it," Sigi sighed. "I've done so much for S.H.I.E.L.D., so much at Fury's bidding. I want to do this for myself, just this once."

"How do you know you'll be allowed back after what you did? Releasing Loki and… all that?"

Sigi shrugged. "I don't. It's a risk I'll have to take."

"You're crazy," Darcy said, almost appreciatively.

"You're not wrong," Sigi lamented.

"Alright," Selvig rubbed his forehead. "Alright, I'll do it. I'll send you back. But if I get fired for this, I demand that you help me in a job search."

"Seems fair. I heard my old school was looking for a physics teacher," Sigi smiled cheekily.

"Hahahaha NO," Selvig replied.

They walked back down to the lab and Selvig entered a series of commands into the panel. Darcy stood towards the back of the office, fiddling with her phone.

"Dang, cell reception sucks down here too," she mumbled.

"It's ready," Selvig said. "All I await is your command."

Sigi finished packing her back, in which she'd placed the Asgardian clothes and a few other personal items. She had no idea how long she'd be gone or whether she'd be able to stay at all. She wanted to be prepared for anything.

"I'm ready," she said.

Selvig nodded. "Good luck, Sigyn. I hope you find what you're looking for."

"I hope I do too."

As she stepped under the device, Jane Foster burst into the lab.

"Selvig, what's this I hear about sending people to Asgard now? I heard some girl already went and -" She stopped, noticing Sigi.

"_You_," she said in a voice that Sigi could not read the emotion behind.

Before Jane or Selvig could say anything, there was a flash and Sigi was gone.

* * *

**Apologies for the random philosophy bits with Darcy's explanation of Hegel; it's important, trust me. And bonus points if you recognize Darcy's dialogue from Riley in the film _National Treasure_. Also a quick note on the mythology - I know there are parts of Sigyn's story in the myths I haven't included yet, but that's mostly because I didn't want to throw too much on Sigi at once. She'll find out the true extent of her mythology later on, I promise... As always, thank you for reading!**


	12. Chapter 12

When Sigi reappeared in Asgard, it was much as it had been when she'd first arrived. She did a spectacular faceplant, only to be plucked up by Heimdall.

"Lady Sigyn, we did not anticipate your return."

"No one did," Sigi admitted. "Any chance of me not getting thrown in prison this time?"

Heimdall looked at her gravely. "Perhaps. You will face Thor's judgment as the Allfather has fallen into Odinsleep after battling the Frost Giants."

Sigi thought about Jane Foster with a certain amount of guilt as Heimdall once again brought her to the throne room. Jane was in love with Thor; this much Sigi knew. And yet she, who had helped develop the theories behind the transport that allowed Sigi to go to Asgard, had not gone herself. Sigi wondered why, if this was a demand of Fury's or something more.

Heimdall led Sigi in front of the throne, where she knelt before Thor, hoping he would be forgiving. Lady Sif and the Warriors Three stood to the side of the dais upon which Thor stood and stared at her critically as she rose.

"My lord Thor, the half-human Lady Sigyn has returned," Heimdall explained.

"You should not have come," Thor said, almost sadly.

"I wanted to see how you were fairing after my hasty departure," Sigi said. "I know my return may end in either banishment or punishment, but I had to do this. I've got my feet in both worlds; I couldn't just give it up, and I wanted to be sure that no harm had come to you after the attack." She hesitated for a moment. "Also, I have new information about my lineage."

Thor's face was serious but his eyes looked kind. "Our losses from battle were light, save my father's need for rest and the unfortunate death of a few of our guards. However, a troupe of us must be off before the week's end to confer with the Frost Giants. We must come to a settlement with them or else a full-blown war will occur. Though there is much rebuilding to do, our costs were not great."

"And what of Loki?" Sigi asked, trying to sound casual. Fear suddenly tore through her body. What if he were dead? What if her main reason for coming was gone and she was jeopardizing everything for a lost cause?

"He has disappeared. We do not know what has become of him."

"Lurking and plotting somewhere, I have no doubt," Fandral muttered.

Sigi's heart sank. She could promenade as a soul with intent to share her information about Hanna with Odin, but that wouldn't last long. If Loki had disappeared, her trip would become an utter dead end. She'd end up facing Fury's wrath with no answers, save any she might receive about her mother. At least she'd tried.

She wondered if she dared tell Thor her true intent for returning to Asgard, but she decided against it. Something held her back. She wasn't sure what but she sensed the timing was not right.

"I must ask you, Sigyn," Thor said. "Why did you release Loki?"

"The ceiling was caving in and the walls were falling… it really seemed like not that bad of an idea at the time. I didn't want him to die down there."

"It would be no less than what he deserves."

"But he's your brother," Sigi said softly.

"Even our family is capable of doing wrong," Thor replied, his eyes brimming with sadness. "I cannot pronounce your punishment; that must be left to Odin. But you cannot be left to your own in our absence. Our prison has been demolished and you cannot stay there. However, your previous room remains open and we shall keep it guarded for as long as you stay. You unleashed the most dangerous man our realm has ever known, Sigyn. I am afraid we can no longer trust you."

Her first meeting with an Asgardian ruler had been far colder but the change in Thor with his temporary ascension to the throne and the need to represent authority and justice was more hurtful. This was no friendly encounter. The days of charming small talk and excursions to the countryside were over. He was a king and she was an outsider. An outsider who had shown sympathy towards the Asgard's worst enemy.

"I understand. Thank you for your time."

Sigi closed her eyes briefly to keep from crying as Heimdall escorted her out of the room. What had she done? Fury would likely trust her again after he found out that she had left Earth without his permission. No one on Asgard trusted her now. She was alone.

As she thought this, an older woman with intricately coiffed hair and kind eyes approached her. Something about her looked familiar and Sigi instinctively bowed.

"Arise, my dear," she said. "I heard you had returned. As my husband cannot meet with you, I am here on his behalf."

Frigga. This was Frigga, queen of Asgard. Sigi felt a bit breathless as she realized it.

"Yes, my lady," Sigi said reverently. "Your son has been firm and resolute."

"He does well in Odin's absence. He is a strong leader and a good man."

Sigi wondered something and before she could lose the gumption, she asked, "My lady, why is it that you do not rule in your husband's absence?"

"The throne is always inhabited by men of royal blood. And so, I cannot rule."

"A woman can be a warrior but cannot sit on the throne? I don't understand."

"It is our way of things," Frigga said.

"It was our way of things on Earth," Sigi said. "And we're trying to change that. It hasn't been for the best, sticking to convention and the way we have always carried on."

Sigi suddenly worried she had overstepped her boundaries, especially given the circumstances, but Frigga merely looked curious, not upset. "You sound like my son. My other son – Loki. He was always questioning and curious. I'm afraid his questioning got the better of him." Her eyes dimmed and she looked saddened. "If I could just tell him how much he means to me… I wish things had not ended this way."

"Who says they have ended?" Sigi asked.

Frigga studied her carefully. "What a curious young woman you are. If we ever find your father, I would be curious to know him."

"My father you won't find. But my mother… it seems she is the one from Asgard. Her name is Hanna."

Frigga's eyes widened. "Is that so?"

Sigi nodded. The look in the goddess' eyes was frightening, something between anger and dread.

"That is what you returned to tell us then? I will tell Odin immediately when he awakes. He will want to speak with you. Hanna is… Hanna is a complicated part of our history, one we've most likely misremembered than anything. But that is not for me to say." She rested her hand on Sigi's shoulder. "Rest well, my dear. You will soon have a lot to account for."

"Thank you, my lady," Sigi said, bowing again. "You are kind to speak with me." Frigga began to walk off and Sigi called out, "My lady? Do you love him? Loki, I mean?"

Frigga stared at her steadily, looking somewhat sad. "Why do you ask?"

"I sense that he believes to be utterly unloved. And I am not certain this is true." The words came quickly to mind and the rapidity of them worried her. Why was she so certain he was not unloved? And by who other than his mother and Thor?

Frigga nodded. "I love him as my own son, though he breaks my heart with his wickedness and cruelty. But," she said, drawing closer, "we must love those when they least deserve it, for that is when they truly need it. I have loved my husband through all of his folly and I will continue to love Loki no matter what he does. That does not mean I will rise to defend him or support him. But my heart goes out to him and I hope that he knows this. Yet I do not think it is my love he desires." She looked at the closed doors of the throne room mournfully and turned back to Sigi. "I will ask my husband to be forgiving of you in your sentencing, my dear. Those who think with their hearts are often stronger than we give them credit for."

With that, she left.


	13. Chapter 13

Heimdall led Sigi to her chambers but she was unable to sleep once she settled into them. Her mind was racing and mulling over multitudes she couldn't entirely fathom. It seemed she was only forming more questions rather than finding answers.

Frigga's final words were especially heavy in her mind. What was the queen suggesting? That Sigyn could do something the others could not? That she was acting out of love?

Love – why did it keep coming back to love? She had spent so much time denying that it could be love, but perhaps that was the wrong route to take. Perhaps it was better to accept that it was and backtrack from there. However, the very idea of this sent a trigger of unease through her gut. She felt as if she was losing something. Control, that's what it was. It was about control.

Sigi was struggling to accept that couldn't control her emotions, that at any random second, these thoughts of passion might run rampant within her mind and there was nothing she could do. It felt like some sort of catastrophic battle was taking place in her mind, between the side that was telling her none of this could be possible, that she wasn't the sort who fell in love so easily, and with notorious criminals, for that matter, and the other that was entirely confused why she would be thinking about Loki for any other reason. Neither side was entirely convincing and neither side was enjoying the experience.

After having an entire life where healing was so easily had, being unable to regulate other aspects of her life were beginning to show. She could mend bones and heal wounds but she could not stop her mind from causing itself conflict and pain. It also frightened her a little that it was now impossible to know whether the strength in these feelings came from her own mind or from the knowledge that, in myth, Sigyn had a mirrored story. The real question was who was reflecting whom – the myth or the current event.

It was another blurring of control, another sign that Sigi was still a bit of a mystery to herself. This new pushing of boundaries, this new exploration in emotion and instinct, while it was not all together pleasant, it was not at all abysmal or threatening. However, it was all very, very strange.

She eventually fell asleep and awoke to find the sunlight streaming across her face. Feeling a mild sense of déjà vu at the tray of food left in her room, she ate quickly and dressed, wearing the Asgardian clothes once again which seemed more suitable for residing within the castle, although she had no idea what she'd be able to do. She hoped that she would not be limited to her room; she would go stir crazy in no time.

The morning began to pass and no one came to the door. Sigi began to grow restless and decided to peek outside just to see how securely guarded she was. Opening the door slowly, she found an Asgardian standing resolutely outside her door. He turned towards her as she peered around the doorway and his posture eased.

He was tall and slim, with honey brown hair and bright blue eyes. Sigi studied him carefully, feeling a sense of déjà vu. His chin looked familiar. It was the weirdest thing. For that matter, so did his eyes. There was a glimmer of recognition in them, as if he had seen Sigi before. It was possible of course, she had been in the throne room often enough. She would have thought nothing of it except for the way he was looking at her. It was all too familiar. Those eyes had been haunting her sleep for too many nights for her to so easily forget them. It was, without a doubt, Loki.

_Ah_, she thought, her mind reeling with recognition. _How very clever. This is where you've disappeared. _Her whole trip suddenly didn't seem so pointless. She guarded her thoughts on the off-chance that this "guard" was listening in, but it seemed he was more intent on maintaining his persona than manipulating her.

"Good morning. I am Theoric. It is good to make your acquaintance, Lady Sigyn," he said smoothly. His voice was sweet and gentle and he bowed, his eyes focused on her. She blushed furiously. _It's good to see you again too_, she thought furiously, _but this is a bit much_.

"It's good to meet you too," she said, feigning warmth and calm. "Shouldn't you be more…austere? I am rather high on the list of dislikable people here."

"Dare you question a palace guard?" he said, then smiled. "Only kidding. I see no reason to be overly formal when it's just you and me here. Many of the other guards have followed Thor to Jotunheim and I have little to fear from you, I think."

"Are you sure about that?" Sigi said, her eyes narrowing. "I can be quite a handful."

"Theoric" laughed, a warm burbling sound that was so utterly so unlike Loki that Sigi wondered if perhaps she was only imagining things. No, this was Loki. She was absolutely certain of it. "I am one of the most esteemed guards in the palace. I do not think there is anything you can do that I am unprepared for."

"Really?" Sigi smirked, leaning against the doorway. She pondered how she should treat this "Theoric." She didn't yet want to let on that she knew who he really was; perhaps she could find out something more from him in this form. Besides, she was curious as to what Loki sought to gain from any of this. Why might Loki have taken Theoric's form, anyway? Had it been good fortune – a guard sent in to watch Loki, who Loki in turned killed, perhaps disguised the body in the form of a Frost Giant's, and assumed the guard's form, no one being any the wiser? Or had he studied the guards, choosing one who was known for his looks and charm and would not create any suspicion? Perhaps his influence in this was even more nuanced and subtle, gently pushing decisions and events towards a mode that would allow him to do something of this nature long before the Frost Giant attack. Loki was certainly up to something. And Sigi was determined to figure out what.

Her best bet was to play along. And now he wanted to appear suave, relaxed, unafraid of her. He wanted to make her feel relaxed; if he acted that there was nothing to fear from her, she would have nothing to fear from him.

_Way to go Thor, leaving me with your brother in the form of a sweet-talking charmer, _Sigi thought_. This is going to end marvelously_.

"You seem surprised that I find you so unassuming," Theoric said, stepping closer. His posture seemed rather flirtatious.

_If you can hear me, Loki, you are going to be in so much trouble when you get back in your own skin._

"Well, considering I apparently caused the great escape of everyone's least favorite prince and have now placed myself on both the wall of shame and category of potentially dangerous people who can do weird things we don't understand… yeah, actually I am kind of surprised you find me unassuming. It's a nice change, though."

Theoric flashed a dazzling smile. "I think you're being treated very unfairly, honestly. You weren't raised on Asgard. To punish you as if you were seems rather harsh. I don't support it."

"Really?" Humility and empathy – two things Sigi had not been expecting from this portrayal. And well done. She almost believed him.

"You know, I think they're wrong about you," Theoric murmured conspiratorially. "The other Asgardians. They think you're dangerous. Rash. Not to be trusted. I think they're losing a strong ally in you if they choose to accept that."

"You really think so?" Sigi asked.

"I do. You're clever. Surprisingly so. From what I've heard of humans, they're not much to be impressed with. But you…you're different."

He was only trying to flatter her, Sigi was certain, as Loki's view of humans was more like a child with a magnifying glass playing with ants, but it she hadn't earned much in the way of positive statements void of criticism in a very long time and yearned to believe him. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome," he beamed. Oh no. This was going to be harder than she thought. He has some pretty convincing thespian skills.

"So how much freedom do I have around here?" Sigi asked. "Am I allowed to roam the corridors or am I confined to my room?"

"You can go anywhere you like," Theoric explained, "provided that I am with you at all times. We wouldn't want you causing any mischief."

"Oh no. We wouldn't want that at all." Great. Just great. She was stuck being tailed by a dangerous, murdering shape-shifter who'd disgraced her name on Asgard. It was a terribly stupid exploit. It could be added to the growing list.

"Well, in that case," she said, "I'm getting a bit restless. Do you mind if we go for a stroll through the castle?"

"Not at all." He held out his arm for her to link hers through. Sigi strove to understand what there was to gain from him being so friendly and debonair. It was clearly a ploy to make her trust him. But as she already knew his true identity, the irony and dissonance in character was disconcerting. It was hard to keep her guard up around such a jovial spirit.

They walked along the corridors of the upper level of the castle, Theoric chatting idly about little factoids that involves some events that occurred in certain rooms or certain architectural or artistic features involved in the building's construction. He was describing how the pillars along a certain gallery were supposed to represent the Valkyries. It was so strange and yet comforting to here this knowledge coming from the concealed Loki that Sigi felt her anxieties slip away. If he hadn't tried to kill her yet, it seemed unlikely that he would do so anytime soon. Wishful thinking, it occurred to her, but Loki was putting too much effort into this to simply take her life. There was something else going on here.

"And down that way is the library," Theoric said, gesturing down a corridor lit by the mid-morning sun.

"Library?"

"Yes, of course."

"Can I see it?"

"Absolutely." Theoric led her down the corridor, through a pair of thick, double doors into a large, circular room. The ceiling overhead was glass dome, showing off the dazzling, multi-colored Asgardian sky. Bookcases stretched encircled the room, stairs leading to upper levels that looped around the center. The floor they stood on now contained worktables, comfortable-looking chairs, and an arch of windows that looked out over the river and mountains.

"Heaven," Sigi squealed. "I am in heaven." She rushed over to the nearest bookcase and began scanning the titles, curious what sort of the volumes they housed. To her disappointment, everything seemed to be written in a rune-like language.

"Some of these are records," Theoric explained, "but many are various volumes of stories and tales here."

"Doesn't much matter," Sigi sighed. "I can't read runes."

"I can," Theoric smiled, stepping forward. He glanced at the books on the shelves. "These are tales of wars and heroic act. I could read some to you, if you'd like?"

"That would be wonderful," Sigi said. She studied him as he browsed through the book, trying to get a grasp of what was going on. "Why are you being so kind?"

He looked up, quizzical. "Whatever do you mean?"

She frowned slightly. "You know what I mean. The first time I appeared here I was thrown in prison because I couldn't prove I was truthful. Now that I have been proven entirely untrustworthy, I highly doubt that a guard would be tempted to read to me and engage in polite discussion."

Sigi wondered why Loki had taken such a façade. Of course she would distrust Theoric's kindness in this situation without even knowing who lied beneath – so why do all this? None of it added up.

Theoric blushed. "I'm afraid my interest lies less with the king and more with you, Lady Sigyn. It was utter chance that I was assigned as your guard…"

_Sure it was_, Sigi thought, amused.

"…but I could not have asked for a better fate. I first saw you when you were brought in to Odin and I admit I was rather struck by you. Our knowledge of humans is rather limited these days and what we know of them might be antiquated, but we never thought them a very strong or interesting people. But perhaps we have been mistaken, as you are a surprise. Your courage, your fortitude…it's admirable. You are mesmerizing."

Oh no. Oh no oh no oh no. She knew where this was headed. Loki had tried seducing her mind before and failed. Now he would try seducing her heart.

What to do, what to do? Did she stop him now, admit that she knew who he was? Or let him continue his flattery, play along, resist, succumb? Which option did she choose? Which option did she _want_?

Her mind told her to run, to get out of there now. But she felt that it was too soon to throw it all away. She wanted to wait, to see where all this would lead. She wanted a better idea of what Loki was really striving her, other than attempting to conquer her. And rather substantial parts of her wanted to be romanticized, seduced, and then have the power to push it aside and confront the man underneath.

"I'm just a girl," she said softly.

"You're really not," he said, taking her hand. "You're more than human, after all."

"Hardly," she replied. "I may think and act somewhat differently, but at the core I am the same as anyone else. I am nothing special."

"You are special to me," Theoric said. The words should have sounded clichéd, hollow, empty to her. But they did not. Sigi could only describe the tone of his voice as heartfelt.

_Oh boy_, Sigi thought. _I am in trouble_.


	14. Chapter 14

They spent the day in the library, Theoric carefully translating the runes for her. His voice was alluring and smooth, more seductive than any other part of him. It was also the trait that reminded her the most of Loki, aside from the vaguely familiar chin and glimmer behind the eyes. She began to understand why he was such a skillful liar – his voice alone dripped with honey and promised the impossible with its tenor. Though Theoric was easy on the eyes, Sigi felt a strange, regretful pang that it was Theoric before her rather than Loki reading these texts to her. It was a moment she wanted to share with him and, try as she might, she could not shake this feeling off.

They paused for lunch, a servant bringing a platter to them from the kitchen. It was the first time Sigi had seen any service staff in the castle and it struck her as odd how little she saw of them. She had no means for comparing or understanding where the servants might come from on Asgard. Was a feudalistic model employed here or was it something else that Sigi could not understand having not been born in Asgardian society?

"Where do your servants come from?" she asked boldly as they ate a lunch of bread and cheeses.

"What do you mean?"

"Are they the children of merchants? Are there even merchants here? I realize I know nothing about the structure of how things run. Do you use money? Where does the food come from? What sort of homes do people live in? Are there people outside the castle? Beyond the city? How large is this planet? Our myths on earth tell us somewhat about the nobles, the gods, that inhabit here. But we never could have imagined that it was all real, a real place."

"So many questions," Theoric chuckled. "Your curiosity is astounding." He stood from the table they had been seated at. "I would show you around our lands if I could, but I cannot imagine the punishment I would be served if we were to leave the castle. I can tell you that I know little about the way things are 'run' here, as you phrased it. I am but a guard. I was the son of a guard, and I became on when I came of age. I imagine it is much the same with the servants. We do have some merchants, but they serve our city, nothing more. There is wilderness beyond our fortress and city, and little else. We are small, not at all like your large planet, but we are strong, a force to be reckoned with. And like many forces, we have a great deal of secrets. I think many of these involve the structure of our kingdom."

"They likely do," Sigi agreed, thinking briefly of her mother and wondering what had sent her away from this land.

Sigi could tell that Theoric was tired of translating the texts and so she suggested an afternoon spent on her own, relaxing in her room. Mostly she wanted time to mull over what was happening, what Loki as Theoric was doing, what she should do. No answers came so instead she sprawled across her bed, her mind buzzing with thoughts about Asgard. It was a realm that felt simultaneously familiar and strange. She wanted to approach it with the scattered knowledge she had of her own planet's history and societies built with kings in place, but this was complicated by the fact that she was dealing with beings described as gods. It was too hard to think of them as gods; if she did that, she would have to accept that her mother, technically, was a goddess of some sort and she didn't want to have to attach that sort of deification to someone she'd known since birth.

Drifting off in a light nap, Sigi was later awoken that evening by a young woman slipping into the room, carrying a tray of food. She stopped abruptly as Sigi sat upright on the bed.

"I am sorry to have disturbed you, Lady," the apologized, looking frightened. "I have tried to be quiet. My deepest apologies."

"No, it's fine," Sigi said, standing up and smiling. The girl had platinum blonde hair, covered with a kerchief-like wrap, and wore a light blue gown with a white apron. "I'm surprised I haven't encountered you before. What's your name?"

The girl continued to look uncomfortable. "Marta," she said.

"Marta," Sigi said kindly, "how did you come to work here, in the castle?"

She shrugged. "My mother works in the kitchens and I joined her when I grew old enough."

"How long have you worked here?" Sigi wondered if Asgardains even bothered to measure time like their mortal counterparts did.

"Eons, it seems," she replied. She moved to set down the tray and a fork toppled off of it. "Oh, I'm so sorry!"

"It's fine," Sigi said, swooping down to pick it up. Both women reached for the utensil at the same time and Sigi grazed Marta's hand. Marta recoiled suddenly, as if she'd been shocked.

"Sorry," she muttered. "They told me not to get near you. Said you could burn me if you touched me."

"Who said that?" Sigi cried.

"The other servants. They heard you have strange powers."

"Is that what they're saying now? How information has spread?" Sigi sighed. "I sound more and more dangerous the longer I'm here."

Marta looked confused and Sigi shook her head. "I'm sorry, I'm just thinking aloud. Thank you for the food."

Marta nodded and ducked out of the room, looking as if she were fleeing some terrible foe.

Sigi felt suddenly furious. It hurt her to think that this kind girl who didn't even know her would have such a negative opinion of her. But what made her angrier was how uninformed Odin's people were. Yes, perhaps she had made a mistake in freeing Loki. Perhaps she was a villain to them now. Somehow rumors had morphed her into a sort of terrible being that could burn flesh with one touch and no one had bothered to correct it. Sigi didn't care about her reputation but she cared deeply about communication between leaders and the fact that those outside of the throne room knew so little angered her. One of the reasons she'd grown so distrustful of Fury was his refusal to tell people what he was thinking. While it might have been a mode of protection, it was also a cause of deep conflict. Sigi wondered how often Odin made the same mistake.

Trouble had found its way into Sigi's mind and would not leave her be so, searching for solace after her meal, she peeked outside the door once more to find Theoric sitting on the floor, drinking something out of a tankard.

"Are you out here all night?"

He nodded.

She frowned. "Don't you need to sleep?"

"I rest when you do. If you tried to slip past me, I'm a light enough sleeper I would hear it. So don't try anything," he smirked.

She smiled back and saw down on the floor besides him, pulling in her knees towards her chest.

"This must seem rather mundane to you," she said, "with your compatriots on Jotunheim and all. Babysitting a suspicious freak who has powers no one understands. Apparently people think I can burn them by touching them."

"Where did that come from?" Theoric chuckled.

"Marta, the maid," Sigi explained. "Not sure where she heard it from. Seems there's been some confusion over my… being. Healing powers, mind reading, protective fields… I guess when passed through the grapevine this info makes me sound dangerous."

"Maybe you are dangerous," Theoric said.

Sigi had to laugh. "You really think I'm dangerous? Compared to you gods?"

"You did help Loki escape. Willingly, I'm told."

Sigi sighed. "I did."

"Do you regret having done it?"

"No," she said softly. "No, I don't. He could have died otherwise. Despite what he has done I do not wish that for him."

"What do you wish for him then?"

This was getting difficult. Though she knew she was conversing with Loki, it certainly didn't feel like it. "I don't know," she replied. "Peace, perhaps. He won't find any solace in killing."

"Perhaps he longs for a certain power he can only have through killing."

"You're very self-aware about yours- your compatriots," Sigi said. She gulped at her near mistake, but Theoric showed no sign of noticing this.

"I have to be aware, in order to protect others from them," he said. "My awareness is perhaps a lot like yours. You seem to always be taking in whatever is around you, either to defend or to understand. Even if it is something that is hated."

"I could never commit to completely hating anything," Sigi said nonchalantly, trying to brush this off. "It took too much energy."

"It seems to me it would be harder to reason out why not to hate someone or something that is utterly heartless," Theoric replied.

Sigi didn't know how to react to Loki saying these things about himself. Did he believe them, or was he simply uttering what other people thought of him?

"I should turn in; I'm tired," Sigi said, rising. As she opened the door, she turned back to Theoric and, before she could think better of it, blurted, "Heartbroken. Not heartless. Loki has a heart, whether or not he's willing to admit that remains to be seen."

With that, she retreated to her room to a strange and dreamless sleep.

* * *

_Hello there! Sorry it's taken me so long to update! I've been swamped in school work and started an internship and... well, excuses excuses. This is long overdue but hopefully I'll get back to some more consistent posting!__  
_


	15. Chapter 15

The following morning was like any other – she awoke to find food waiting for her and felt restless soon afterwards. She opened the door of her room to find Theoric standing there, except this time he held a pile of books in one arm.

"I thought we might sit out on the veranda today. It's rather nice out."

"Sure," she smiled. She momentarily wondered if they ever had poor weather there or what sort of atmosphere Asgard even had. For a moment, a series of science questions loomed in her mind – what the composition of the air she was breathing was, what kind of climate did the planet had, how Asgard looked from space, how far away from Earth she really was – but she forced herself to shove these questions away. Science was thought of differently here and asking these sorts of things would only lead to more confusion.

They sat in a pair of chairs out on the terrace and Theoric translated stories to her about Bor, Odin's father, tales of Frost Giants, dwarves and elves, and accounts about the tree Yggdrasil. It was when he reached parts about the inhabitants of Asgard and Hanna's name was mentioned that Sigi stopped him.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Repeat what you just read," she said.

"Hanna, a daughter of Eir, was an enchantress who was known for her cunning and her beauty," he repeated. He paused and continued. "She was courted by Odin and spurned his advances. He forcefully pursued her, pressuring her to accept him as a lover, but Hanna was uninterested. To anger him, she found faults with his kingdom and raised complaints. She mocked him with her disinterest and with her observant eye. The peaceful rule that Odin had established in jeopardy, the All-Father threatened Hanna with banishment. She left willingly instead and disappeared out of record."

Sigi sat in shock, her mind reeling. That was what her mother had meant, when she said she had left because of Odin. A bitter taste filled her mouth as she thought of the king and cringed to think what it might have been like for her mother to be pursued by someone whose affection she did not want, someone who also happened to be her monarch.

"Is that true?" Sigi asked. "What that story says?"

"As far as I know it to be. Why?"

Sigi considered lying, saying anything but what her real interest in Hanna was. But she would have to come clean sometime. And at this moment she trusted the prince of lies more than she trusted Odin. "When I went back to Earth, I found out that S.H.I.E.L.D. had made a mistake, a presumption about my heritage. It wasn't my father that was an Asgardian. It was my mother, Hanna. This Hanna, the very same one that is in this tale."

She felt a sudden rush of energy and stood up, pacing around the veranda. "I… I had no idea why she left, that it had anything to do with being courted – by a king no less. Odin hates me now… imagine what he'll do when he hears the truth… I have no future here. None at all."

Theoric rose and walked towards her, taking her hands gently in his. "Our king may yet be forgiving. You do not know that he will hate you for mistakes that your mother made."

Sigi looked at him sadly. _Nice try, Loki. But we both know that isn't true_. "Then why did he tell his foster son all those stories about the evil of Frost Giants? Why did instill that same racism, that same hatred in him if he really thought a child could be different than his parents? Like father, like son, they say on Earth. And so it seems the same petty belief holds true here. He created the basis for an exquisite sense of self-hatred in Loki. And now he'll harbor a powerful sense of hostility towards me. A king is meant to be open-minded and tolerant. But it would seem Odin isn't doing a very good job at that."

Though she hadn't intended to, Sigi had put Theoric in an extremely challenging position. Now he could either side with her and comfort her but show his sense of distrust towards the king, or he could side with the king and distance himself from Sigi. Once she had subdued her anger momentarily, Sigi was curious to see which he would choose.

His decision shocked her. In an instance, he had wrapped his arm around her waist, pulled her close to him, and leaned in to kiss her. Momentarily startled by the contact and somewhat yearning for it, Sigi froze for a moment, then recoiled, shoving him away.

"No," she said firmly. "No, don't try to make the moves on me now. Not after I hear about how my mother was pursued. Not now… not like this."

"I… I am sorry," Theoric said, clearly shocked. "That wasn't very chivalrous of me. It was inappropriate and forceful. I do hope you'll forgive me."

He sounded so sincere.

"I have a hard time trusting men, because of those who act like Odin. I would prefer it if you didn't add yourself to that list." She paused a moment, attempting to order her thoughts against the whirlwind that had surged through her mind. "I'm willing to forgive you. But you must understand what I reacted as I did, as I would like to understand what you are trying to tell me."

"It's just… in our time together, I've come to feel something towards you that is more than… common appreciation. I… You see…" He stopped himself and gave a frustrated sigh. "You see, my lady… ugh, but the words are all wrong…."

"Don't worry about the words. Say what you feel."

"I'm…I'm in love with you."

Sigi continued to stare at him, aghast. She had not expected him to be so frank. Now it was clear to her – it was time to throw all concealments away. She couldn't keep up this performance, not when she was becoming uncomfortable with the façade presented to her. Taking a deep breath, she spoke up. "Are you, Theoric? Or is it the man beneath the mask? Do you love me as Loki as well?"

He looked at her incredulously. "How… how did you know? How _long_ have you known?"

"Since the beginning. It was the look in your eyes when you saw me… you had the same look after I'd tried to heal the Frost Giant. I once heard disguises described as a self-portrait. I wonder if that's true."

The guise of Theoric slowly melted away, leaving Loki's habitual appearance in its place.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he growled.

"You were hiding something from me, so I hid something from you."

His eyes grew dark with anger. "You should have told me. We played this foolish game for no reason."

"I didn't think it was foolish. It was quite nice to see a different side to you. Even if you didn't mean a word you said."

"You used me," he hissed.

"And you used me too. Call it even."

"Do you enjoy testing your wit against mine? Is this what gives you pleasure? Haven't you faced enough challenges in your life?"

He had hit the nail on the head. "Yes," she said softly. "Yes I have. But I was testing you as much as you were testing me."

"Why?"

She closed her eyes momentarily and swallowed, trying to still her mind. "I wanted to see who you were other than what you show in Asgard. Something strange happened back in the prison cell and I was trying to learn more about… what I'd seen. When I tried to heal you… it didn't quite go as expected. I imagine you sensed what I was feeling and thought I was bewitching you. But I was able to see your memories. I saw your past, Loki. I saw what it was like to be the lesser-loved brother, to see what happened when one's entire world was torn out from under your feet. I saw what it was like to privilege trickery over truth. To have anger for no reason, no purpose and feel forever scorned by all those – "

His eyes flashed and roughly grabbed her, pulling her up against him, his face inches from her. Damn. She'd gone too far; she was certain of it.

"You saw my memories," he seethed.

"I didn't know it would happen," she explained. "I had no idea it would occur. But once it happened, I couldn't take it back."

"You manipulative little minx, when were you going to tell me this?" he yelled. "You did this to me and you never let me know? You claim to care for me and yet you used me in such a manner? How could you do such a thing?"

She started at him, unaffected by his anger. Once she was certain his rant had ended, she asked, "Are you done?"

"Ugh!" he cried. "Are you not bothered by anything?"

"Yes," she replied coolly. "I am. Death bothers me. Sorrow, pain, corruption, grief. I have seen that over and over and over again and I will continue to see them. But your anger doesn't frighten me. And neither do you."

"I don't frighten you?" he hissed. "I didn't peg you for such a blunt liar, Sigyn. You know what I have done. How am I not frightening?"

He wanted her to fear him. He yearned for it, perhaps as much as Sigi was beginning to yearn for him to feel something other than hate. But she would not give him the benefit of seeing her afraid.

"You were pretending to be a flirty, philandering knight for the last few days," Sigi remarked. "Excuse me for not being scared stiff. Tell me, why did you think it better to seduce me as Theoric rather than yourself? Besides the fact that you're the most wanted man on Asgard at the moment."

"My first attempt didn't work. I needed a different approach."

"Your first attempt was annoying and invasive," Sigi said candidly. "There's something more, I know it."

"I was right about you; you're always questioning and trying to understand everything around you. Whatever will you do if you find something that can't be understood?"

"Rejoice at the sheer magnitude of its enigmatic nature of it and keep trying," she said. "Now tell me – why did you take on the form of Theoric?"

He smiled, walking back towards her. "Are you sure you want to know?"

"Yes."

"How will you know I'm telling the truth?"

"I won't. And I don't care. What you want me to hear will say multitudes."

He stared at her. "Do you care with for the truth so little?"

"I care about what you think is true," she replied.

He paused and began. "At first it was merely convenience – Theoric was assigned to watch over me while Thor fought off the Frost Giants after you had left. The fool had been badly injured and, instead of being responsible and telling someone, he chose to act like a hero and keep silent. He died in front of me, allowing me to take his form and hide his identity as that of a Frost Giant. I simply told Thor that while fighting off the Frost Giant I had 'killed,' Loki escaped. I was not anticipating your return, but when you came back… well, I couldn't believe my luck. I liked our little encounter before, Sigyn, and I didn't want it to end. I still hoped to find what sort of power I could have over you. If I could not seduce your mind as I had tried before, I thought I at least could seduce your heart or body."

"As Theoric," Sigi said skeptically.

"Yes, as Theoric. Why are you so concerned about the form I took?"

"Because… I…ugh," Sigi sighed. "I'm none too fond of all of that coddling and seduction – sure, it's sexy to a point, I suppose, but I'm highly skeptical of it given I come from a place where men forcing themselves upon women is twisted as attractive and desirable. It seems Asgardian practices aren't so far removed from that, which is ridiculous, I mean, is there anywhere in the universe where women have equal rights? Seriously…"

She turned to walk away from Loki, but leapt before her, blocking her path. "What are you saying?" he cried.

"I don't want to be forcefully courted or possessed and seduced," Sigi said. "Especially by someone who is pretending to be someone else. And who doesn't even like me anyway. God, my brain hurts. Good work, you've succeeded in giving me a headache."

He smirked at her, which, given his previous anger, was surprising and unsettling. "At least I've succeeded at something. Your avoidance of my manipulations is quite… interesting."

"I screw up your plans and you say that's interesting?" Sigi asked. "This is not the reaction I was expecting."

"What were you expecting? Anger, outrage? You just assured me those will have no effect. No, I have a different tactic now – kindness. Is that the real reason Theoric made you uncomfortable, Sigyn? Because you knew it was me, acting kind, and you have no reason to believe I have the capacity to express such actions?"

"No, I think you're utterly capable of that," Sigi refuted. "It worries me because those actions came from a masquerade and I can't tell what's true in that or not."

Loki blinked at her. "And that's different from the usual me how, exactly?"

She gave a cry of frustration. "God, I hate it when you're right. Okay, fine, so that's business as usual then." _But it's not_, she thought. _I believed you might really care for me, didn't I? That's why I came back. I thought I had a chance of having you fall in love with me. And for a while there, when you were Theoric, I thought that might really be you._ _I am such an idiot_.

Heavy silence had fallen around them as Sigi's realization dawned on her. Loki stared at her, looking a bit perplexed. "So what now?"

She laughed, breaking herself away from her thoughts. "Why are you asking me that? You're the one with all the cards in your favor. It hardly matters that I found you out. You're so mutable, you can take any situation and turn it to your favor."

"Not any," he said darkly, looking away.

New York came racing back into her mind and for a moment of horrific terror, Sigi felt sick with herself that she could have forgotten it so easily. Not only had this changed Loki beyond whatever she thought of him from the accounts she had heard about New Mexico. She could feel sorry for him all she wanted; it would get her nowhere. She had to remember what he had done to New York, to the Avengers, to Coulson, to her. This was not just some misguided foe that could be forgiven. And Loki was more than a wronged brother that wanted redeemed. Perhaps he didn't want redeemed at all.

Before she could say anything, Loki turned back to her. "But that's beside the point. What I'm interested in is why you came back to Asgard, the most dangerous and unwelcoming place for you right now. What brought you back?"

"You," she blurted out before she could stop herself. "You did. I wanted to know what exactly happened when I tried to heal your mind. I guess I already know I just… I wanted to come back. To try and understand where my mother came from, what exactly this place is…why you didn't let me die in the prison. I might have been in your head after the attempted healing, but I don't know why you didn't just let me fall. Maybe it's wishful thinking, but I'd like to think you caught me for reasons that involve more than presuming I might one day prove useful. You can do anything you want. So why did you do that?"

The silver-tongued speaker was lost for words. In fact, his very expression looked disoriented and confused and Sigi momentarily felt bad for him, until she reminded herself again what wrongs he'd done. However, it only momentarily quelled her guilt. Wronging him did not even anything out. Besides, Stan had always told her that the only way to help people be moral was to treat them morally.

She looked at him sadly. "I don't need an answer. I'd just rather not avoid the question. But if you feel the need to give me one, you'll know where to find me."

The sound of her footsteps echoed around her as she walked away, wondering if what direction she was really headed – towards or away from him. Nothing, even the most linear of paths were quite what they seemed here.

* * *

**Finally got this section published *sighs*... Loki was being a bit of a pain and this required a great deal of waiting on my part and writing ahead to make sure this worked properly. Well, we'll see...**


	16. Chapter 16

Sigi spent the afternoon sprawled across her bed, trying to sort out her thoughts. A great deal of her time was spent trying to understand why Loki had reacted with far less rage than she had been expecting. Loki was capable of elaborate lies, though, and perhaps his calm reaction was all a façade, concealing a quelling rage beneath. It was no different than how she was concealing her growing concern and fear of being there.

The never-ending swirl of questions were making Sigi fatigued and she wished she could just shove them aside and relax for five minutes, absorb a present moment even if she knew it wouldn't last. There was a price to pay for her constant curiosity. _See, Sigi_, she thought to herself, _this is why you can't have nice things_.

Though putting into context that the "nice thing" she wanted was Loki certainly complicated matters. His question about her return had struck a nerve with her. Why in the world _had_ she come back here? What did she really expect to learn?

Perhaps she hadn't expected to learn anything in the first place. Perhaps she'd come back not because she wanted to know more about Loki but because she wanted to know more about herself. Because she thought she had more in common with Loki than she had first thought.

Another struggle rose up in her mind in how Loki thought of himself at all. He seemed so overconfident, so self-assured that seeing uncertainty with him almost worried her. Before she had met him, Loki had been so focused on power and vengeance that it had utterly consumed every endeavor he had made. However, every attempt at claiming these things had fallen through. Sigi had absolutely no idea if he still wished to fulfill these desires or if he was planning for something else. She had no idea of what he hoped for – or if he even hoped at all. And this worried her more than anything else.

Spending so much time in sedative leisure was making Sigi lethargic and she fell asleep once again. She had a dream that was becoming reoccurring – one where Coulson was injured and she was standing over him. But this was more vivid than it had been before and something told her that she wasn't about to heal him. Rather, she was the reason he was injured.

She was awoken abruptly by a knock on her door and she furiously pushed the dream away. It was nothing to worry about; it had just been a dream. At her door was not Loki or the guise of Theoric but Thor who stood before her. He looked exhausted and travel-worn, like one who hadn't slept for several nights. Sigi wondered if that indeed was the case.

"Thor," she gasped. "You've returned."

"Yes," he said. "Only this afternoon. My father has awakened as well. He has asked to speak with you this evening."

"Of… of course," Sigi gulped. She suddenly felt foolish for thinking only of Loki when she had such larger things to contend with. "Were you able to compromise with the Frost Giants?"

"Only temporarily. They have agreed to take no further action until they have spoken with Odin. They still do not trust me and I cannot blame them. I was rash in my past and I have yet to live that down."

"It seems you have a rather complicated relationship with their planet," Sigi said. The look that came into Thor's eyes made her wish she hadn't voiced that thought aloud.

"It is one fraught with violence and hatred," he said softly. "But not without our reasons. The Frost Giants have shown cruelty beyond measure. It would seem to be in their nature, given my brother's actions." He said "brother" bitterly and grimaced, as if the very thought of Loki pained him. "I cannot understand why he did what he did, how he became what he is… we were raised the same, as equals."

"Perhaps he didn't feel that way," Sigi replied. "Odin seems to have picked a favorite and Loki was forever in your shadow. Why name you as preferred when he could have named the two of you as rulers together? A joint kingship – would that not have been preferred?"

Thor hung his head. "I do not understand my father's ways. Given the turn of events, it is perhaps for the best that he decided as he has. I am sorry, Sigyn, as much as I would like to understand where your thoughts are coming from, I am far too tired to discuss this with you now. Perhaps tomorrow I can stand for you inquiry."

"Of course, I'm sorry. I have the tendency to barrage people with questions."

A stifled cough came from the hallway and Sigi peeked around the doorframe to see Theoric standing there. Thor paid no notice but Sigi thought his cough had sounded suspiciously like a laugh.

"Good evening, Sigyn," Thor said and left. Sigi watched him walk away, noting how slouched his posture was and how gingerly he moved. He was indeed exhausted and she felt a twinge of guilt for verbally criticizing the way she had.

Theoric walked towards her and leaned against the wall near Sigi's door. "Well, that was interesting," he smirked. "You certainly aren't trying to be ingratiating here, I'll give you that."

"I'm just trying to understand what the hell is going on here," Sigi said defensively.

"And interrogating people is the way to do it?"

"No, I think I'd rather be in disguise and covertly deceive people into telling me things, that's a much better plan."

He narrowed his eyes but the smirk on his face stayed the same. Sigi felt that Loki was taking notes, collecting data, testing her further. "I'd watch your tongue, dear Sigyn. I still owe you a fall. Perhaps I've saved you just to make you take that plummet myself."

"Not if I catch myself first," Sigi retorted and spun back into her room, firmly shutting the door behind her.

She felt a rush of adrenaline and almost anger. There were so many things wished she were able to say to that smooth-talking, quick-witted, clever rogue, but she didn't feel capable of actually putting them into succinct phrases. What was she going to say anyway? "Yes, actually, hold on there with your threats, god of mischief and let me explain to you this thing of how in mythology we're married and how it's implanted this stupid optimism in my head that you could actually not want me dead even though I represent a lot of things you hate like sentimentality and humans and whatnot, and it's made me realize that what I feel for you is not what a mender of your monstrosities should be feeling. So before you rip out my entrails and eat them, can we both take a minute to just talk about our feelings and how I might be falling in love with you?"

The whole entire thought of it was outright absurd.

Sigi collapsed back into a chair, feelings frustrated and stir-crazy. She no longer cared what this meeting with Odin brought her – she had to get out of here. Being penned in was getting to her. For half a moment she wondered what it must have been like for Loki in that cell for weeks, but she shoved it away. No, no more. It wasn't worth trying to understand someone who could not be understood. Just because she had seen his thoughts didn't mean she could comprehend him better or empathize with him more. It would give her more insight, but it wouldn't really lead to anything.

The door opened and Loki stepped in, his disguise of Theoric fading away as he entered.

"What?" Sigi said, realizing she sounded a bit like a petulant four year old. That was a bit not good.

"I have been instructed to take you to see Odin in a few minutes," he explained, "but before that, I'd like to discuss something with you."

"Is it the terms of my death, because I'd really prefer something quick and simple."

He pouted at her. "Why does Theoric get the sweetness act and not I? You don't prefer him to me, do you?"

"No, at least with you I know where I stand. And that's absolutely nowhere."

He chuckled and stepped towards her. "I rather think you're everywhere, the way you've stayed one step ahead of me. Which is why I've decided to trust you."

"What?" Sigi cried, appalled. "_You've_ decided to trust _me_?"

"Is there a problem with that?"

"Well, I mean… I… _what_?" she cried. "So much for being one step ahead! Okay, so you trust me…could you enlighten me as to _why_?"

"Simple, really. You don't seem terribly interested in doing what people expect of you, which I admire. Even though it has been nothing but cumbersome for me, I sense a bit of unusual fidelity in you, the sort that when given will endure no matter what. Your loyalty is eternal, when you decide to give it."

"And you trust that?" Sigi said, perplexed. She shook her head. "You're just playing me again."

"Of course I am," Loki smiled. "But who or what are you playing? You are fiercely loyal, but to what? You don't trust Odin. You don't trust me. And based on your return here I doubt you even really trust your Avenger allies. So who do you trust?"

She stared at him, wide-eyed. "I…I…"

Her loss for words made his smile darken and widen. "I don't need an answer. I'd just rather not avoid the question."

The echoing of her earlier words hung in her ears as his disguise reappeared. "It is time. Odin is expecting us." He held out his hand to her, still smiling, though now it was the charming, seductive grin of Theoric.

She took his hand, never breaking eye contact with him. "I have the feeling that Odin may have already decided my fate. If that's the case and this is the last time I am able to speak with you, know that I don't intend to resign myself to it. I'm not ready to give this world up yet. And I don't intend to give it up. I'm not going to choose between a mortal life and an Asgardian life like my mother had to. I don't want to be molded into what others think I'm supposed to be. But I have a feeling that this resistance, this refusal to conform, makes me as dangerous as you." She continued to stare at him, uncertain what exactly her eyes were revealing. "Let's go."

He nodded and released her hand. She strode towards the door, throwing it open, and ran headlong into the astonished form of Tony Stark.


End file.
